IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The plans below show a public park (Grange Park) when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The two maps show how Grange
Park
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 has changed from 1920 to today. Over time, some things were removed, and new things were added to make the
park
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 more comfortable for visitors. In 1920, the
park
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 had a big fountain in the
center
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centre
show examples
. On the left, there was a stage for musicians, and on the right, there was a pond for water plants. There were
also
Linking Words
 rose gardens in different parts of the
park
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, and at the bottom right, there was a greenhouse. Many seats were placed around the
park
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 for visitors to rest. Now, the
park
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 looks very different. The fountain is gone, and
instead
Linking Words
, there is a small rose garden with seats around it. The stage was changed into an
amphitheater
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amphitheatre
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 for concerts. The pond and greenhouse were removed, and now there is a café and a children’s play area.
Also
Linking Words
, a water feature was added, and there is a new entrance to an underground car
park
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. In general, the
park
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 became more modern, but some natural areas stayed the same.

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coherence and cohesion
To improve logical structure, consider grouping related changes together and providing a clearer comparison between the two time periods.
task achievement
Adding more specific details and examples can enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. For example, mention the benefits of new features for visitors.
coherence and cohesion
A brief conclusion summarizing the main changes more explicitly could strengthen your essay and provide closure.
task achievement
You clearly outlined the main changes in the park over time, which is the key requirement of the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing is easy to read and understand, with a logical sequence of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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