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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table describes the information about the New Zealand between two years (2011 and 2012) by
age
Use synonyms
 group. Word
repetiti
Correct your spelling
repetition
repetitive
 meeting the goal
According to
Linking Words
 the table there were compared between five groups in two years
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the result of
this
Linking Words
 are the percentages of the changes Grammar misti detected issues In general view there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 rates in
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 15-39 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2011 and 2012, So the percentage is -0.2% . As the same
occur
Correct subject-verb agreement
occurs
show examples
 in the
age
Use synonyms
 under 15, The people in 2011 and 2012 is almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 level (898.160-896.364), So the final result is like
age
Use synonyms
 15-39 is -0.2% .
Overall
Linking Words
 Band S
Use synonyms
Age
Change preposition
For age
show examples
 65+ there was
low
Add an article
a low
the low
show examples
 increase in the population between
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 two
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
, The final change is +4.0% • The population in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
New Zealand
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 in these years are 4.381.269-4.410.284
Finally
Linking Words
, the
last
Linking Words
 change in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
all ages and in 40-64 are same is +0.6% .

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Vocabulary: Replace the words age with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • population growth
  • age group
  • increase
  • decline
  • elderly population
  • aging population
  • working-age population
  • stable labor force
  • modest increase
  • significant change
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