Some people move to other countries when they retire. Others think that it is better to retire in their home country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples.

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A number of citizens move abroad after retiring. Many individuals believe that it is better to

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

retiring

Replace the word

retirement

show examples

time

Use synonyms

period in their

home

Use synonyms

country

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay intends to discuss both

prespectives

Correct your spelling

perspectives

However

Linking Words

, I side with the former view. There are a number of reasons why I feel that a

person

Use synonyms

should

spent

Change the verb form

spend

show examples

their

time

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in a different

country

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, some

people

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work day and night throughout their

life

Correct your spelling

lifetime

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time

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. They do not get enough

time

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to do things they like and follow their passions.

Moreover

Linking Words

, many employees do not get

leaves

Fix the agreement mistake

leave

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from their workplace,

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

which

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makes it very difficult for some

people

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to have a good and memorable trip.

Also

Linking Words

, if a

person

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visits another

country

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they will be able to learn

cultures

Correct article usage

the cultures

show examples

and traditions of that nation.

For example

Linking Words

, a

person

Use synonyms

will get

know

Fix the infinitive

to know

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many new things, which they were not even aware

Change preposition

of in

show examples

their

home

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country

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This

Linking Words

will expand their knowledge. Studies

also

Linking Words

show that

people

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who come back from a trip have

relaxed

Correct article usage

a relaxed

show examples

mind. Moving to the

oppents

Correct your spelling

opposite

view. There are many

people

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who feel it is

disadvantageous

Add an article

the disadvantageous

a disadvantageous

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situation for the elderly and for the

home

Use synonyms

country

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, it is very hard to learn a new language when one becomes old. A

person

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might struggle and feel lonely as he would not be able to communicate with others.

This

Linking Words

might ruin all their plans for their retirement. Another point is that

Remove the comma

apply

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many

people

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think that retired individuals should continue contributing to their

home

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country

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, like by participating in volunteering organisations.

To conclude

Linking Words

, even though

people

Use synonyms

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

opine that moving to

different

Add an article

a different

show examples

country

Use synonyms

is a negative situation for elderly and the society,

yet

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

I believe that senior citizens should go and experience a different life.

mansiratbhangu002Tue Feb 25 2025

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task achievement

Improve your introduction by clearly outlining the points you will discuss in the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your paragraphs are logically structured with clear topic sentences and supporting details.

task achievement

Add more specific examples to support your points to enhance clarity and depth.

coherence and cohesion

Rephrase some sentences to enhance grammatical accuracy, especially regarding verb tenses and forms.

task achievement

You present a clear opinion and acknowledge both views, which shows balanced understanding of the topic.

task achievement

The points raised regarding cultural experiences and knowledge expansion when traveling are relevant and insightful.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Some people move to other countries when they retire. Others think that it is better to retire in their home country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples.

Introduce yourself • Say why you are interested in this sports club • Ask some questions about the club e.g. facilities, members, costs.

You are a student at a University in the UK. You have recently lost your University ID Card. Write to the local police station giving details of: who are you? what happened? Ask to record your details so that you can apply a new ID card.

Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees do. Some people believe it is necessary, but others think that it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.