It is said that men are more privileged than women in their work places and in transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that on
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
males have more opportunities and rights
instead
Linking Words
of females . I disagree with
this
Linking Words
statement because nowadays
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
changed ,
women
Correct word choice
and women
show examples
also
Linking Words
getting similar rights and regulations same like men . Owning to
first
Add an article
the first
show examples
reason, if we will see around the world girls are achieving success , no matter which field is that .They proved that girls
also
Linking Words
ahev
Correct your spelling
have
strong
detrimination
Correct your spelling
determination
and capability to do any task .
For example
Linking Words
, Kalpana
chawla
Change the capitalization
Chawla
show examples
was the first astronaut lady ,who visited
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
.she
Correct your spelling
She
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
the one who set the example;
moreover
Linking Words
,
Flororence
Correct your spelling
Florence
Nightangle
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
was also
show examples
the lady who started
compassionate
Correct article usage
a compassionate
show examples
nursing
carrier
Correct your spelling
career
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
,
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
examples proved that girls played an important role in every
aspects
Change to a singular noun
aspect
show examples
of life.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the sector of transport ,
due to
Linking Words
the equality
right
Replace the word
rights
show examples
, the government and private sectors started recruiting female candidates as well .
For instance
Linking Words
, In the combined taxi service ,many ladies started their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
, which not only
boosts
Wrong verb form
boosted
show examples
their confidence but
also
Linking Words
reliazied
Correct your spelling
relieved
the equality rule as well.
Therefore
Linking Words
, providing identical rights to women can help to boost the productivity of the nation, in order to decrease the unemployment and poverty rate. In
clusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
Although
Linking Words
men have more
stimina
Correct your spelling
stimulation
than women
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
we can ignore the hard work and contribution of females
for improving
Change preposition
to improve
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic growth.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic and gives a brief outline of the points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Check grammatical errors and improve sentence clarity. Phrasing such as ' girls are achieving success, no matter which field is that' could be improved for better flow.
task achievement
Try to provide more concrete examples supporting your argument about women's rights in the workplace and transportation.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples of successful women, which strengthens your argument about equal opportunities for women.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance against the idea that men are more privileged, showing your engagement with the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: