IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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In our
Change preposition
Our
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 days, lots of
people
Use synonyms
 who deal with health issues have stopped visiting their usual
doctor
Use synonyms
 and
Linking Words
instead
Add a comma
instead,
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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try
alternative
Use synonyms
medicines
Use synonyms
. There is a proportion of individuals who consider that
this
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 is a positive development. From my perspective,
alternative
Use synonyms
treatments
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 could cause more problems than they could solve.
To begin
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 with, some claim that
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays trying
alternative
Use synonyms
medicines
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 and
treatments
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instead
Linking Words
 of visiting their actual
doctor
Use synonyms
 is considered a good change. They support their arguments in the fact that today numerous individuals suffer from diseases regular doctors cannot treat.
Therefore
Linking Words
 turning in
alternative
Use synonyms
treatments
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 is the only option for them.
This
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 might be true in some way but does not mean that
people
Use synonyms
 who turn in
alternative
Use synonyms
 medicine should stop visiting their actual
doctor
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. I am certain that for a regular
person
Add a comma
person,
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this
Linking Words
 change could cause much more issues.
In addition
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, my belief is that individuals should first ask their personal
doctor
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 before taking any
alternative
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 treatment. In any other case, in order to solve some problem, they might create a new one. All in all, more and more
people
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 with health problems nowadays try
alternative
Use synonyms
medicines
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 and
treatments
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instead
Linking Words
 of visiting their doctors.
Although
Linking Words
 some
people
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 encourage
this
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 development, I find it a negative one for the reason that
people
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 in
this
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 way might create a bigger issue than the one they
try
Wrong verb form
are trying
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 to solve.
Nevertheless
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, if
people
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 would like to try
alternative
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medicines
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, my advice would be to first ask their doctors.

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coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but the body paragraphs can benefit from a more structured approach and clearer transitions between points.
task achievement
While the supporting arguments are relevant, adding more specific examples or evidence would strengthen the overall argument and enhance credibility.
task achievement
The introduction provides a good overview of the topic and presents a clear opinion.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively restates the author's stance and provides a practical suggestion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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