IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, most of the employed people wish if they could have more time to rest. They Suffer throughout the week like running in a race. It is agreed that employees deserve a longer
weekend
Use synonyms
. Analyzing the amount of stress they face
through
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
 the week and how their
performace
Correct your spelling
performance
 is boosted after getting enough rest.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
 individuals employed in companies are dealing with long working
hours
Use synonyms
 , sometimes not less than 8
hours
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, my sister
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 she is the first to
wakeup
Correct your spelling
wake up
show examples
, and the
last
Linking Words
 to return
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
home
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because she is employed in a marketing agency. I always notice how struggling She is in her
last
Linking Words
 days before
Use synonyms
weekend
Add an article
the weekend
show examples
 comes.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the
weekend
Use synonyms
 when she is so fresh and full of energy.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Add an article
the more
show examples
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
longer
weekend
Use synonyms
 is recommended to avoid the physical Stress of the workers. Another point to consider, most companies that use
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 workers in a detrimental way have a limited income.
For instance
Linking Words
, Khafoury Company is one of the companies known for its long working.
hours
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 issue significantly affected the
overall
Linking Words
 production and
returnings
Replace the word
returns
show examples
 of the company,
due to
Linking Words
 decreased level of
employees
Change the noun form
employee
show examples
 performance.
Thus
Linking Words
 it is
adviced
Replace the word
advised
show examples
 to allow them
have
Add the particle
to have
show examples
 enough time to regain and replenish their energy. In conclusion, Stressful working weeks and
accumulation
Correct article usage
the accumulation
show examples
 of physical
tirdness definately
Correct your spelling
tiredness definitely
 have a bad effect on
companys
Correct your spelling
companies
.
This
Linking Words
 is
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
 the decrement
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
workers
Change to a genitive case
worker's
workers'
show examples
 performance and decreased focus.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 it is encouraged worldwide to limit working
hours
Use synonyms
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 6
hours
Use synonyms
 for 4 days a week in order to meet the standard levels
recommend
Wrong verb form
recommended
show examples
the
Change preposition
by the
show examples
 employment authorities.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay. This will guide the reader and provide a roadmap for your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid vague phrases and strive for more precise language. For instance, instead of saying 'struggling She is in her last days', consider 'she struggles during the final days of the work week'.
task achievement
Include more specific examples that support your argument. While you mentioned your sister's experience, consider adding data or studies that reinforce your point about productivity and longer weekends.
task achievement
Check for grammar and punctuation errors, as these can distract from your argument. For example, 'companys' should be 'companies', and there should be no space before punctuation marks like commas or periods.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion in favor of longer weekends, which is important for task achievement. You provide personal examples that add authenticity to your argument.
task achievement
You effectively identify the negative impacts of long working hours on both employees and companies, which aligns well with the prompt.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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