IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Long distance flight consumes the amount of fuel that a car uses for many years and pollutes the air. Some people think that we should discourage non-essential flights, such as tourists travel, rather than limit the use of cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is claimed that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
long-distance movement via
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plane utilises more fuel and pollutes the atmosphere more than vehicles release over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
many years and
this
Linking Words
 caused the argument of whether non-essential flights
shouls
Correct your spelling
should
 be reduced in number. I totally disagree with the statement as it leads to the cease of
worldwide
Add an article
the worldwide
show examples
 economy and causes much trouble in terms of timing. Having diminished the flight frequency, various
fieds
Correct your spelling
fields
 around the world are likely to be deteriorated, which directly
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
 on the speed of the transport. Not only does a plane
shortens
Correct subject-verb agreement
shorten
show examples
 the time of the transportation of both people and goods, but it
also
Linking Words
 is the safest way to deliver the items.
Moreover
Linking Words
, other transports may well consume more fuel and contaminate the air delivering the items to the destinations.
For instance
Linking Words
, provided statistics by the International Organisation of the Petroleum Exporting Countries indicate the figures that
aircrafts
Correct your spelling
aircraft
show examples
 utilise and release emissions
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
34% less rather than vehicles emit to transfer between destinations.
In addition
Linking Words
, the economic system worldwide is to experience a decline owing to the cease of plane
travels
Correct subject-verb agreement
travel
show examples
. If
given
Correct article usage
a given
show examples
 suggestion takes place, spheres
such
Linking Words
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
travel, medicine, exportation and business will probably encounter
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 crisis, because these are the professions which highly need the assistance of the aircraft. Kazakhstan can be a primary example to show the significance of the situation. As it does not border with oceans, the only
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
 of transferring method in
ungent
Correct your spelling
urgent
 cases is the airline system. During the Quarantine period, because of the mere delays by the transporting country, not
mentioning
Change the verb form
to mention
show examples
 the stopping, caused the deaths of a number of citizens
due to
Linking Words
 the lack of time. In conclusion, even though
aircrafts
Correct your spelling
aircraft
show examples
 emit
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
far greater
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of
fuels
Fix the agreement mistake
fuel
show examples
, I disagree with the idea of reducing air
travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
show examples
. At no account can cars be faster than planes and the situation might become the root of difficulties in the worldwide economy.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Ensure the introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument if applicable, along with a strong thesis statement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen topic sentences to clearly indicate the main idea of each paragraph and ensure that each point is developed thoroughly.
Task Response
Add more specific examples and explanations to support your claims, making sure they directly relate to the argument you're presenting.
Task Response
You provided a clear stance on the issue, demonstrating your opinion on the reduction of non-essential flights, which is crucial in Task Achievement.
Task Response
You included relevant points regarding economic implications, which adds depth to your argument and shows understanding of the wider context.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your use of terminology related to aviation and transport is commendable, as it reflects a good level of language proficiency.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • climate change
  • air pollution
  • sustainable future
  • carbon footprint
  • regulating
  • passenger transportation
  • virtual tourism
  • domestic economies
  • equitable climate policies
  • non-essential flights
  • tourism-related travel
  • environmental crisis
  • long-distance travel
  • pollution levels
What to do next:
Look at other essays: