IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

"Some people think online education is more effective than traditional education. Do you agree or disagree?"

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Introduction: Online
education
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 has gained significant popularity in recent years, with many believing it to be more effective than traditional learning.
While
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 some argue that virtual
education
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 offers flexibility and accessibility, others believe that it lacks personal interaction and discipline. In my opinion, online
education
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 is indeed more effective
due to
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 its convenience and diverse learning opportunities. Body Paragraph 1: One major advantage of online
education
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 is its flexibility, allowing
students
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 to learn at their own pace. Unlike traditional classrooms, where
students
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 must follow a fixed schedule, online platforms offer recorded lectures and self-paced courses.
For example
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, platforms like Coursera and Udemy enable learners to access high-quality courses from top universities worldwide, benefiting those with full-time jobs or personal commitments. Body Paragraph 2: Another key benefit is the vast availability of learning resources. Online
education
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 provides
students
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 with interactive videos, quizzes, and discussion forums, which enhance engagement and understanding. Research suggests that digital tools improve knowledge retention compared to traditional textbooks.
Additionally
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,
students
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 can connect with instructors and peers globally, fostering a more enriched learning environment. Conclusion: In conclusion, online
education
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 is more effective than traditional methods because of its flexibility and access to diverse learning resources.
While
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 traditional classrooms offer face-to-face interaction, the advantages of digital
education
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 outweigh its limitations.
Therefore
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, institutions should invest more in online learning to make
education
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 accessible to a wider audience.

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task response
Your introduction presents a clear opinion and outlines the main points, which is great. However, consider adding a counter-argument or acknowledging the opposing view more explicitly to enhance the depth of your response.
coherence and cohesion
In Body Paragraph 1, you effectively explain the flexibility of online education with a relevant example, which supports your point. Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main idea, making the structure stronger.
task response
In Body Paragraph 2, you present a strong argument about the resources available in online education. Consider elaborating on how these resources can be utilized effectively to further strengthen your point.
task achievement
Your argumentation is convincing, showcasing clear advantages of online education. You articulate your position well, which supports a strong overall score.
coherence and cohesion
The essay generally flows well, with logical connections between sentences and paragraphs, making it easy to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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