As a result of electronic inventions such as computer and television, people do less physical activities and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Dramatic

Add an article

The dramatic

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invention of electronic devices in

this

Linking Words

modern world has an adverse effect on

the

Correct article usage

apply

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human

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

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health as the

enagement

Correct your spelling

engagement

with these devices

such

Linking Words

televison

Correct your spelling

television

televisions

and computers

reduce

Correct subject-verb agreement

reduces

show examples

their physical activities. I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

statement and

further

Linking Words

ensuing paragraph will elucidate my

view point

Correct your spelling

viewpoint

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. Technology plays a vital role in our

day to day

Add a hyphen

day-to-day

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life

along with

Linking Words

the the graph of inventing electronic devices jumps like a fox as compared to the previous

year

Change noun form

year's

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surveys done by IIT Banglore ,India.

Computer

Fix the agreement mistake

Computers

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and

televisons

Correct your spelling

television

televisions

undoubtedly

Correct your spelling

increase

increae

Correct your spelling

increase

the ease and comfort in

individual's

Correct article usage

an individual's

show examples

life but on the

Correct your spelling

other hand

Correct your spelling

other hand

otherhand

Add a comma

otherhand,

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

they

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provides

Correct subject-verb agreement

provide

show examples

laziness and

bhinder.bhattalWed Feb 26 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Clarify your main points and ensure each paragraph develops one specific idea. This will strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Provide specific examples to back up your points, making them more solid and persuasive.

language accuracy

Pay attention to grammar and spelling errors to improve the overall clarity of your writing.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly states your position which is essential for a strong essay.

lexical resource

You use some relevant vocabulary related to technology and health.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

104 words

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As a result of electronic inventions such as computer and television, people do less physical activities and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that the government should ban dangerous sports, while others think that people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

An overseas friend wants to visit your country on holiday. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter Recommend the best time of year to visit and why Describe the types of accommodation your friend could choose Say what you would like to show your friend in your country

In numerous nations, there is a growing trend for individuals to frequently discuss financial matters, such as their earnings or expenditures, in everyday conversation. What are the reasons behind this phenomenon? Is it advantageous or detrimental?

Some people believe that children’s time outside of school should be filled with scheduled activities such as art and music classes and sports. Others feel that children need free time to play and relax. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the government should offer financial support and care to old people, while others think that people should save money for their future life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.