Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school, are more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

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Some individuals opine that what a
child
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has gone through before starting school
have
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has
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the most impact on their future.
While
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others say that teenage
life
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experiences are more imperative.
This
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essay intends to discuss both perspectives.
However
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, I side with the latter view and my reasons will be explained below. The early childhood
life
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of a
child
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is very important.
Firstly
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,
this
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is where they learn all the valuable lessons taught by their
parents
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and other family members.
For example
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,
parents
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teach how to greet when a guest arrives, table manners,
basic
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and basic
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language skills.
Although
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,
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apply
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mostly
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most
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guardians always try to give the best positive environment yet in some cases
parents
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are not able to pay full attention to their
children
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. Sometimes
children
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see that their
parents
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are in an abusive relationship.
This
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will negatively affect a
child
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's growth.
On the other hand
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, many people feel that teenage years are more significant. During
teenage
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the teenage
a teenage
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phase of a
child
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, many things change in their lives. It is very important with whom one is being friends. If other
children
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around them are doing something morally wrong or illegal they might want to do the same.
This
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will encourage them to help their peers in wrong
activitites
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activities
as well as
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take part in it.
Moreover
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, many
children
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are bullied
due to
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various reasons. So
this
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can have a
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life long
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lifelong
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effect on them.
To conclude
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,
nonetheless
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that early childhood
life
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also
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has an impact on a person's
life
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, I believe that teenage experiences play a much bigger role.

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Task Achievement
The introduction provides a clear overview of the topic and outlines your position, which is good. However, you might want to briefly mention what the main points of each perspective are to set up a clearer discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
While the essay is logically structured, some transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Consider using connecting phrases to enhance the flow of ideas and ensure each paragraph clearly builds upon the previous one.
Task Achievement
You have provided some examples, but including more specific examples of the impact of early experiences or teenage experiences would strengthen your arguments. It could help to elaborate on how specific incidents may shape future behaviors.
Task Achievement
You clearly state your opinion in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay, which reflects a strong understanding of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
The use of appropriate vocabulary and varying sentence structures is commendable and adds to the overall readability of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • future life
  • experiences
  • childhood development
  • bonding
  • socialization
  • peer interactions
  • basic skills
  • education
  • learning
  • friendships
  • independence
  • identity
  • exposure
  • new ideas
  • perspectives
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