The City Manager is surveying the opinion of the community about family picnics held in public parks. On the one hand, public parks are created for people to enjoy nature. On the other hand, large family gatherings can be noisy and occupy a lot of park space. The City Manager has asked you to complete an opinion survey. explain Why do you prefer Family picnics should be allowed in public parks? provide reasons.

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From my perspective, family
picnics
Use synonyms
should definitely be allowed in public
parks
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.
Firstly
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,
parks
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are designed for community use to promote social interaction. Allowing
picnics
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at the park may encourage families to spend time outside with their kids and friends which is beneficial for their well-being.
Moreover
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, doing outdoor social activities
such
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as
picnics
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and barbecues might boost the sense of community in the
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
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.
Secondly
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, it will bring cost benefits to the families. Considering that
this
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is a zero-cost activity, parents may save a significant amount of money
while
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they enjoy a high-quality time with their kids doing a wide variety of activities.
For example
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, children could cook with their parents, play with their friends, and explore around the park.
Finally
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, many
parks
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were designed for
this
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purpose. Throughout the city, there are many
parks
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with a designated space for doing
picnics
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, including wooden tables, and chairs.
Also
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, rules to control the number of people and noises have been stipulated by the government.
Hence
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, I firmly think that
picnics
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in public
parks
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should be permitted as it will carry
out
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apply
show examples
several benefits to society. Thanks for considering my opinion, and I will fully support
Correct article usage
the majoritys'
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majoritys'
Change noun form
majority's
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decision

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coherence and cohesion
Consider providing a more structured introduction and clearer thesis statement to guide the reader on your main argument.
coherence and cohesion
Add a brief conclusion summarizing your key points to reinforce your argument's strength.
coherence and cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures for better flow and engagement.
task achievement
Ensure proper punctuation, especially in sentences where clauses are connected, for better readability.
task achievement
You presented strong arguments advocating for family picnics, emphasizing community benefits and cost savings.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay maintains a clear line of reasoning throughout, making your points logical and relatable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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