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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below shows the average weekly salaries of men and women working in different occupations. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.JJ 1

The table below shows the average weekly salaries of men and women working in different occupations. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.JJ 1
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The table illustrates the earnings of both male and female employees specialising in various job spheres in 2015.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it shows that in all 5 occupations, men earn nowhere near as much as women.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 male professionals' salaries are just as equal as female workers
highlight
Verb problem
there is

There may be a verb use issue here.

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 a clear gender gap in pay.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 with, the highest wage gap for men starts with 2000 dollars,
whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 women employees get just under that number as males (1900) in the sphere " Professionals". As given in the table, the next maximum earnings were
gotten
Verb problem
obtained

There may be a verb use issue here.

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 by technicians making around 1400 dollars by men,
whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 females earned significantly less 900 per year.
Similarly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the same numbers are considered for service workers for both genders 1300 and 950 just over 50 than female technicians.
In contrast
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, personnel of the other three job categories received just as much as for either gender with minor differences over the shown period.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Administrative staff generated incomes
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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1350 and 1000,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 team members of manual labourers
secure
Wrong verb form
secured

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb secure. Consider changing it.

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 financial resources with a wage gap of 250 cash over the given time.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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