IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in China in four periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in China in four periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart illustrates the number of
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 engaged in
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 in China over four different periods (1970/71, 1980/81, and 1990/91), categorized into full-time and part-time study.
Overall
Linking Words
, part-time
education
Use synonyms
 was consistently more popular than full-time
education
Use synonyms
 for both
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 across all the given years.
However
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 male participation in part-time
education
Use synonyms
 fluctuated, female enrollment in part-time studies showed a steady increase.
Additionally
Linking Words
, full-time
education
Use synonyms
 numbers remained significantly lower but demonstrated an upward trend over time. In 1970/71, around 1,000,000
men
Use synonyms
 were enrolled in part-time
education
Use synonyms
, making it the highest figure for male students in any category.
This
Linking Words
 number decreased slightly to approximately 850,000 in 1980/81 before recovering to around 900,000 in 1990/91.
In contrast
Linking Words
, male full-time
education
Use synonyms
 figures remained consistently low, starting at around 100,000 in 1970/71 and experiencing a gradual rise to nearly 200,000 by 1990/91.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, female participation in part-time
education
Use synonyms
 was
initially
Linking Words
 lower than that of males, with about 700,000
women
Use synonyms
 enrolled in 1970/71.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 number rose steadily, surpassing 1,000,000 in 1990/91.
Similarly
Linking Words
, female full-time
education
Use synonyms
 figures started at a low base, slightly below 100,000, but showed a notable increase, reaching approximately 250,000 by the final period. In summary,
while
Linking Words
 part-time
education
Use synonyms
 was dominant for both genders, female participation grew more significantly over the years, particularly in part-time studies,
whereas
Linking Words
 full-time
education
Use synonyms
 numbers increased at a slower rate for both
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, education with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Further education
  • Full-time study
  • Part-time study
  • Trends
  • Participation
  • Distribution
  • Disparities
  • Proportions
  • Growth
  • Policy changes
  • Cultural shifts
  • Gender equity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: