IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You have a suggestion for a park nearby where you live. Write a letter to your city’s council. In your letter include: •what your suggestion is •why you think this suggestion will improve the park •when you would like to see this suggestion in action

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am a resident of Hill Street and I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to draw your attention to the Koln
Park
Use synonyms
 condition.
Initially
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,
this
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 green area
plays
Wrong verb form
played
show examples
 a significant role in our
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 thereby preservation and refurbishing it, is
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
importance
Replace the word
important
show examples
. If there were some
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 facilities in the
park
Use synonyms
, children would
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 quality time there. As the majority of
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 population
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
show examples
 their free time in
this
Linking Words
park
Use synonyms
, providing some recreation facilities,
such
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 as football pitches and basketball courts, can encourage youngsters to take up some physical activities
as well as
Linking Words
fostering
Wrong verb form
foster
show examples
 their
communicational
Replace the word
communication
show examples
 skills. Since the summer is getting close, the
park
Use synonyms
 should be upgraded by the end of March.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it would be extremely great if you could set out to do
this
Linking Words
 renovation as soon as possible. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully Tina Ross

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples of the types of sports facilities that could be added to the park to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs focus on a single idea more clearly, which can help improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
In your closing, it may be beneficial to explicitly express your hope for a positive response or action from the council.
task achievement
The letter addresses the council directly, which is appropriate for this type of correspondence.
task achievement
Your concern for the community and emphasis on children's activities shows a thoughtful approach to the suggestion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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