IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some believe that because everyone needs a place to live, governments should provide houses for those who are too poor to afford their own. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is believed that because all
Use synonyms
induviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
 a house to live, the governments ought to provide
houses
Use synonyms
 for every person that are too poor to buy their own. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that prices of
houses
Use synonyms
rises
Change the verb form
rise
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 increasingly-high year by year.
For instance
Linking Words
, it has been shown in Turkey the prices of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
houses
a house
show examples
houses
Use synonyms
 increased by twenty
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the health insurance of a country will be increased
due to
Linking Words
affordability
Correct article usage
the affordability
show examples
 of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a house
houses
show examples
houses
Use synonyms
 that
Use synonyms
induviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 will get because of the new
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
 that the government
provided
Wrong verb form
provides
show examples
 to the people.
For example
Linking Words
, it has been shown that poor people often get bad diseases in hospitals
due to
Linking Words
 cold
winter
Fix the agreement mistake
winters
show examples
however
Linking Words
, if the government
will give
Wrong verb form
gives
show examples
houses
Use synonyms
 to
Use synonyms
induviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 cannot buy a house the health of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 country will be
highly-increased
Correct your spelling
increased
show examples
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, if
this
Linking Words
 rule
will be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 considered and will be mandatory the
crime
Use synonyms
 rate
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the nation will be
drastically-low
Correct your spelling
drastically low
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that
Use synonyms
induviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 that cannot buy a house often
do
Verb problem
commit
show examples
 a
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 for family or relatives or not to die and it has been shown that sixty percentage of
cime
Correct your spelling
crime
 rates made by homeless people that cannot afford a property but if the government will approve
this
Linking Words
 rule the
crime
Use synonyms
 rate will be much lower by approximately sixty percentage. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 firmly believe that every person needs a place to live in and the
Correct your spelling
governments
government
govenments
Correct your spelling
government
 should provide
houses
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 for those who cannot afford
as
Correct pronoun usage
them as
show examples
 it can highly-increased the health of a nation and
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 cost of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
modern day houses
a modern day house
show examples
modern day
Add a hyphen
modern-day
show examples
houses
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 rate should be lowered and the advantages of affordability of
houses
Use synonyms
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighed
 the disadvantages of free
houses
Use synonyms

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Task Achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task clearly. Your position is stated, but you need to develop your arguments more thoroughly. For example, instead of just mentioning the increase in housing prices, provide specific data or trends that support your claim.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas within paragraphs. For instance, the transition between the second and third paragraphs is a bit abrupt, which can confuse the reader about how your ideas connect. Use linking words to improve the transitions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be mindful of grammar and spelling errors, as they can impact the clarity of your essay. For instance, words like 'individuals' and 'increased' were misspelled, and phrases such as 'the health of a country will be highly-increased' need grammatical corrections.
Task Achievement
You present a clear opinion that supports the notion of government-provided housing for the poor, showing your stance right from the introduction.
Task Achievement
You provide relevant examples, such as the rise in housing prices in Turkey, which connects your argument to real-world situations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • - Economic security
  • - Essential needs
  • - Allocate resources
  • - Social stability
  • - Reduced inequality
  • - Social tension
  • - Cohesive society
  • - Secure housing
  • - Health outcomes
  • - Susceptible to illness
  • - Stimulate economic growth
  • - Construction materials
  • - Ethical responsibility
  • - Less fortunate members
  • - Just society
What to do next:
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