IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the past, most people spend their entire career working for one company, whereas people nowadays move from one job to another. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each? Which do you think is better?

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Previously, many individuals used to work for
one
Use synonyms
 firm throughout their lifetime.
However
Linking Words
, today people change
jobs
Use synonyms
 frequently.
This
Linking Words
 essay intends to discuss
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
 and cons of both situations.
However
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, I side with the latter view. On
one
Use synonyms
 hand, people who spend their entire career at
one
Use synonyms
 company do so because they want to show that they are loyal and reliable
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the workplace.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if a
person
Use synonyms
 is working
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 place for a very long time it is easier for the employer to trust him.
One
Use synonyms
 is more likely to get a promotion or a pay raise if he is working for ages. On the negative side, a
person
Use synonyms
 might not be able to explore other better opportunities.
This
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 results in a very limited scope of
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
 at an individual level.
On the other hand
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, many people feel it is beneficial to change
jobs
Use synonyms
. Working at
one
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 job can be very boring.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 a
person
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 will get
know
Fix the infinitive
to know
show examples
 about various company's workings.
This
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 will expand their knowledge. A
person
Use synonyms
 will get more diverse opinions from their coworkers. Each new workplace teaches a different approach to
handle
Wrong verb form
handling
show examples
 problems
this
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 will improve a
person
Use synonyms
's
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
.
Nonetheless
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, there are drawbacks as well. A
person
Use synonyms
 might find it very difficult to switch
jobs
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 and learn new ways to do tasks. An individual will not be able to excel in
one
Use synonyms
 specific skill.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 there are both benefits and drawbacks for both circumstances
yet
Correct word choice
apply
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I believe that changing
jobs
Use synonyms
 is
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
 option for career growth.

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Task Achievement
Provide a clearer thesis statement to express your position more explicitly in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to back up your points, especially regarding the advantages and disadvantages.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task and provides a clear discussion of both sides of the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The points made are relevant and pertain to the topic of job changes versus job stability.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of having an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion is evident and well-organized.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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