IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that every human being can create art (e.g. poetry, music, paintings). Other people think art can only be created by people born with a special ability. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In
interduction
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introduction
, art is significant because it
make
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makes
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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life
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beauty
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beautiful
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. In our
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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life
Add a comma
life,
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 we need to
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artists
Add a missing verb
be artists
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 in
vary
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various
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 fields. We must encourage our sons to be
artists
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.
The
Correct article usage
Life
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life
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 needs actors like other professions
such
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 as doctor,
lawer
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lawyer
, and engineer. The artist
make
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makes
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 people happy and
give
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gives
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 them special impressions. There are different ways to
bo
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be
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 an artist. In
addatin
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addition
, the arts
contributes
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contribute
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 to
convey
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conveying
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coltures
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cultures
culture
 among countries and
life
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 of
sidecounrty
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side country
 to cities. At
the
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apply
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first,
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there are people who have natural giftedness from their childhood ,their talents involve
in
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apply
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specific art
such
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 as
paintin
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painting
,
write
Wrong verb form
writing
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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poem
Fix the agreement mistake
poems
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 or novels.
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This
Correct determiner usage
These
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 talents some children
discvered
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discovered
 it by themselves or their
parents
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. Their
parents
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 encourage them to work to develop their gifts. They
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will
wil
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will
 be very skilled
artists
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, by ver the time
However
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, some
parents
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neglact
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neglect
 their sons because they say: we do not have time to pursue them or we are so busy. Those reasons
causes
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cause
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to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
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 lose kids and their natural
gitfedness
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giftedness
gradualy
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gradually
. Kids need
embracing
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the embracing
show examples
 of
parents
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for
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to
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acheiving
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achieve
 their dreams and boosting skills.
Foremore
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Moreover
, some
youngs
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young
show examples
 may manage their skills when
be
Verb problem
they are
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 adult and used to
do
Wrong verb form
doing
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somthing
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something
 in their routine. They enhance their vocations
in
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through
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 hard work to
be
Verb problem
become
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 professional
artists
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 and
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
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 from senior
artists
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. In
this
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 way, several actors were scared
from
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of
show examples
failue
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failure
, but with previous steps, which they
followd
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followed
follow
them
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apply
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, they
overcome
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overcame
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on
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apply
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them. In my opinion,
influence
Add an article
the influence
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 of cultural or
specail
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special
social
 factors in nurturing artistic abilities
suggesting
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suggests
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 that
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 plays a critical role in artistic development.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss. This will provide clarity and set a clear direction for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Try to link your ideas and paragraphs more effectively using transitional phrases. This will enhance the flow of your essay and help the reader follow your argument more smoothly.
task achievement
Use specific examples to further develop your ideas. This could involve mentioning well-known artists or specific art forms to illustrate your points more concretely.
task achievement
You demonstrate a good understanding of the topic and present both sides of the argument quite well.
task achievement
Your passion for the subject is evident and your enthusiasm for the arts creates an engaging tone in your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innate
  • talent
  • artistic expression
  • creativity
  • subjective
  • special ability
  • natural giftedness
  • psychological benefits
  • cultural factors
  • nurturing
  • formal training
  • creative fields
  • self-expression
  • artistic development
  • embrace
  • encourage
  • aesthetic appreciation
  • emotional outlet
What to do next:
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