IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You recently did a short cookery course. The cookery school has asked for your feedback on this course. Write a letter to the course director at the cookery school. In your letter describe what you enjoyed about the course, say how much cooking you’ve done since the course, and suggest another cookery course you’d like the school to offer.

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Dear Sir or Madam, First and foremost, I would like to introduce myself, my name is Stefanni Mauren,
I
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and I
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was one of your students
in
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at
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 BBN cookery school. I am writing to express my feelings
of
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about
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 being in your class. I am extremely happy
having
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to have had
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this
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 opportunity which
leads
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led
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 me to love cooking, especially the
last
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 class when we learnt how to cook spaghetti and lasagna, it was so fun and
brings
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gave
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 me
ability
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the ability
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 to implement it for my dinner menu and surprisingly my children love it.
Additionally
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, those experiences cause me to spend hours in the kitchen planning a week's meal menus, meal preparations, and absolutely cooking. Since I have been learning it, cooking has been my “me-time” and causes my children to eat healthier food.
Lastly
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, I appreciate your Idea of making
this
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 cookery
course
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 so fun and knowledgeable for me and other
course
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 members, and it would be interesting
when
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if
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 you
make
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made
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 a
course
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 specialized for Indonesian food. I believe other members would like to join
this
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course
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. Thank you for considering my opinion. I am looking forward to hearing
further
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 information about it. Yours faithfully,
Stefanni
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Stefani
 Mauren

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coherence and cohesion
Consider improving the logical flow by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. For example, connect your enjoyment of the course to your subsequent cooking habits more clearly.
task achievement
While the letter captures personal experiences well, you could expand on specific aspects of the course that you enjoyed to enhance your response to the task.
writing tone
The letter has a warm and friendly tone, which is very suitable for this type of correspondence.
task achievement
You've successfully expressed your enthusiasm for the course and how it has impacted your cooking habits, making for an engaging read.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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