IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given pie charts illustrate the generation of electricity in
Germany
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
 from every
source
Use synonyms
 and renewable in 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, the biggest
source
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 electrical
generator
Fix the agreement mistake
generators
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Germany
Use synonyms
 was conventional thermal,
while
Linking Words
France
Use synonyms
 was nuclear.
The biomass
Correct article usage
Biomass
show examples
 and wind were used as the major renewable in
Germany
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Hydroelectric was dominated in
France
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the figures, conventional thermal had the highest percentage at 59.6% in
Germany
Use synonyms
. Nuclear ranked second at 23%.
The renewables
Correct article usage
Renewables
show examples
 had the smallest share in
this
Linking Words
 country.
Whereas
Linking Words
, In
Use synonyms
France
Add a comma
France,
show examples
 the usage of nuclear
Use synonyms
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 was the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 percentage at 76%.
The conventional
Correct article usage
Conventional
show examples
 thermal and renewables
Add a missing verb
have relative
show examples
relative
Change the word
relatively
show examples
 similar usage
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 10.3% and 13.7%, respectively. The electricity generation from renewables in both countries expressed
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 significant difference. In
Use synonyms
Germany
Add a comma
Germany,
show examples
 biomass and wind were a primary
source
Use synonyms
 with 39.3% and 36.9%, respectively. Hydroelectric made up 17.7%.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Hydroelectric was a major
source
Use synonyms
 in
France
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 percentage of 80.5. Biomass and wind had a small number of consumption at 8.1% and 10.5%, respectively. Solar had the smallest number either in
Germany
Use synonyms
 (6.1%)
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
France
Use synonyms
 (0.9%).

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words germany, france, source with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • electricity generation
  • renewable sources
  • conventional thermal
  • nuclear power
  • hydroelectric power
  • biomass
  • wind energy
  • proportion
  • distribution
  • significant
  • contributor
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