IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Fashion trends are difficult to follow these days and it’s widely believed that they primarily exist just to sell clothes. Some people believe that we shouldn’t follow them and that we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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In my opinion, I
argee
Correct your spelling
agree
argue
 that
people
Use synonyms
 should not follow the fashion trends, just
dress
Use synonyms
 in what
we
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 like and feel comfortable. First of all, about the
comfor
Correct your spelling
comfort
, when
people
Use synonyms
dress
Use synonyms
 in a comfortable
dress
Use synonyms
 can improve their
preformance
Correct your spelling
performance
.
As most of
Change preposition
Most
show examples
 fashion
clothes
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are shallow or just for
ostentatious
Correct article usage
the ostentatious
show examples
, something that will
too
Add a missing verb
be too
show examples
 loose, too heavy or too tight. Those of them will affect
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 or performance, like
vlleyball
Correct your spelling
volleyball
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
,
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
must needs
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
 to wear
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tight
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 material
clothes
Use synonyms
, can
easy to
Replace the word
easily
show examples
 move and can let them move faster.
Also
Linking Words
,
A
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
comfortable material
clothes
Use synonyms
 can improve them
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
, it will
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
 breathable. For daily life,
such
Linking Words
 as in summer
peope
Correct your spelling
people
 need to
dess
Correct your spelling
dress
 up a short or skirt, will not follow the trends
to wear
Change preposition
of wearing
show examples
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 tee to let
themsevles
Correct your spelling
themselves
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be uncomfortable
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 make
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 daily
proformance
Correct your spelling
performance
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
worse.So, wearing
comfortable
Change the word
comfortably
show examples
 is very
importing
Replace the word
important
show examples
.
Second,
Linking Words
About the self-prove, wearing what we like is self-proformance or
prove
Replace the word
proof
show examples
.For the
trend
Use synonyms
, most
people
Use synonyms
 will
lost
Change the verb form
lose
be lost
show examples
 their own sense to follow
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 to wear.
Their
Correct pronoun usage
They
show examples
 wouldn't
thinking
Change the verb form
think
be thinking
show examples
, just
dress
Use synonyms
 in what
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
dress
Use synonyms
 in.
Actullay
Correct your spelling
Actually
,
Use synonyms
dress
Wrong verb form
dressing
show examples
 in what we like can show
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our sense of fashion or
unique
Replace the word
uniqueness
show examples
, if follow that
trend
Use synonyms
, just
losting
Correct your spelling
lose
 it. So,
people
Use synonyms
 should
dress
Use synonyms
 in
we
Correct pronoun usage
what they
show examples
 like.
Finally
Linking Words
, About the
money
Use synonyms
,
folllow
Correct your spelling
follow
 the
trend
Use synonyms
 will let you spend
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
money
Use synonyms
.
Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
show examples
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trends
Fix the agreement mistake
trend
show examples
clothes
Use synonyms
 can
sald
Correct your spelling
sell
 about $300-$400
hong
Change preposition
in hong
show examples
 kong
doller
Correct your spelling
dollars
 for
normol
Correct your spelling
normal
people
Use synonyms
 , for higher, famous
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
show examples
 Channel, LV,YSL or CK, those
clothes
Use synonyms
 can
sald
Correct your spelling
sell
 over $10000
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
just for
Use synonyms
trend
Correct article usage
a trend
show examples
.
People
Use synonyms
 still will spend much
money
Use synonyms
 to buy,
ignord
Correct your spelling
ignored
ignore
 how expensive about is , just want to follow the
trend
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 let many
people
Use synonyms
,
especial
Change the word
especially
show examples
tennager
Correct your spelling
teenagers
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
just follow something
trend
Use synonyms
 that will not
thing
Correct your spelling
think
show examples
 about the effect or
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 mindset.,
therefore
Linking Words
,most of them will debt or
stole
Wrong verb form
steal
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 to buy them. It will let many
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 out. In my conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 should not follow the
trend
Use synonyms
.

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language
Try to improve your spelling and grammar. For instance, the word 'agree' is misspelled and phrases like 'self-prove' can be more clearly expressed as 'self-expression'.
structure
Ensure that each paragraph has clear topic sentences and stays focused on one main idea. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.
content
Provide more detailed and relevant examples to support your points. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your argument.
content
You provide a clear opinion in your introduction, which is important for task achievement.
content
Your points about comfort and self-expression are relevant and demonstrate personal reflection which can engage the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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