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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows average carbon dioxide (co²) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.

The line graph below shows average carbon dioxide (co²) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.
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The line graph
depicits
Correct your spelling
depicts
 the discharge of carbon dioxide in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 Italy and Portugal
during
Change preposition
between
show examples
 1967 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 show a decline in
Use synonyms
emission
Add an article
the emission
show examples
 of CO2, in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of Italy and Portugal it rose significantly over the given period of time. In
initial
Add an article
the initial
show examples
 year, the UK emitted 11 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 of CO2 which was
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 among the selected countries. As years passed, it showed a significant decline
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 9 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2007, but still was
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 CO2 producing country.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in 1967
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Sweden
Use synonyms
dicharged
Correct your spelling
discharged
charged
 almost 9 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 of CO2. After a decade, a dramatic peak was observed with
release
Add an article
the release
show examples
 of 10 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 per person.
Thereafter
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
 continuously decreased and
Linking Words
finally
Add a comma
finally,
show examples
 in
2007
Add a comma
2007,
show examples
 it was lowest with 5.5 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
Conversely
Linking Words
, both countries Italy's and Portugal's line of
emission
Use synonyms
 increased from 1967 to 2007. In
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of Italy,
starting
Correct article usage
the starting
show examples
 discharge of
Use synonyms
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
 was almost 5 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
, which increased slowly and doubled in 2007.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
initially
Linking Words
 Portugal emitted very less CO2 only 1.5 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
, which increased slowly
with
Change preposition
over
show examples
 decades and quadrupled. In 2007, it reached
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 5.5 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 per capita matching
Sweden
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sweden, emission, co, tonnes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average
  • carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions
  • per person
  • line graph
  • trend
  • decreased
  • increased
  • highest
  • lowest
  • peak
  • decline
  • stable period
  • external factors
  • environmental policies
  • industrial activity
  • comparison
  • data set
  • period covered
  • analyze
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