IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

While some people prefer to live in apartments, others do not think an apartment is a suitable form of accommodation. Do you think the advantages of living in apartment outweigh disadvantages?

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It is widely believed that some
people
Use synonyms
 desire to stay in
apartments
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 others do not consider it is not convenient for relaxed housing. In my opinion,
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
 of housing in an apart fall behind the benefits of living with related to the cost and development
buildings
Change preposition
of buildings
show examples
 of
apartments
Use synonyms
. A major advantage of residing in an
apartment
Use synonyms
 is the possibility of slight rent costs. Because there is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of construction thereby building is continued by the contractor.
In addition
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 most
people
Use synonyms
 move to
cities
Use synonyms
 to live for better circumstances, the price of an
apartment
Use synonyms
 for both rent and sale is low so an
apartment
Use synonyms
 is accepted and suitable by most
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
currently.
For example
Linking Words
, In Turkey, especially buildings of İstanbul and Ankara and İzmir
cities
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 which have metropolitan characteristics are generally thought
as
Change preposition
of as
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
expensive and glossy but the towns have a reverse situation with
average
Add an article
an average
the average
show examples
 cost of renting an
apartment
Use synonyms
, meaning the community usually
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
show examples
one fifth
Add a hyphen
one-fifth
show examples
 of their salaries in those.
Secondly
Linking Words
, another advantage of living in
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
an apartment
apartments
show examples
apartments
Use synonyms
 is new and has durable structures in spite of having mostly old dwellings. Someone coming from other
cities
Use synonyms
 to work or study is always choosing first or underutilized
apartments
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in many regions, construction projects quickly are proceeded by builders.
For instance
Linking Words
, many students (nearly 5000 learners) study in Tekirdağ from Turkey and they usually need small, and pretty
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
apartments
Use synonyms
 in order that
needs
Verb problem
be
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their can compensated, and
builder
Fix the agreement mistake
builders
show examples
establishment
Replace the word
establish
show examples
 1 plus 1 or 1 plus 0 housings.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, one of the primary problems is rapid urbanization,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 brings about air pollution, some traffic problems and diseases in large
cities
Use synonyms
 because of increasing rather
apartment
Use synonyms
 numbers. It is evident that most
people
Use synonyms
 do not live
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
clean and do not respect their environment as rising
people
Use synonyms
 anywhere. For illustrate, recent studies show that the ranking and habits of washing the hands of humans in European
cities
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the lowest of
avarage compored
Correct your spelling
average compared
 to other continents in 2022. In
this
Linking Words
 way, they break out new disease types in terms of
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 there are disadvantages to living
an
Change preposition
in an
show examples
apartment
Use synonyms
, the advantages surpass most of the obstacles.
Therefore
Linking Words
, having weighed up the pros and cons, I am convinced that many
people
Use synonyms
 should reside in an
apartment
Use synonyms
, and feel comfortable lifestyles about monetary and reliable constructions.

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task response
Consider refining your introduction for clarity. Instead of stating 'some people desire to stay in apartments', you might say 'some people prefer living in apartments.', which is more direct. Also, correct minor inaccuracies such as 'it is not convenient for relaxed housing'—a clearer phrasing would help.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each body paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea you'll discuss. This will help improve the overall logical structure of your essay.
task response
Your examples are relevant but could benefit from more detail. Instead of stating, 'the price of an apartment for both rent and sale is low', provide a more specific statistic or compare it with alternative housing options. This would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion can be made stronger by summarizing the main points discussed in the body paragraphs, rather than just reiterating your opinion.
task achievement
You provided a balanced discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages of living in an apartment, which demonstrates an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as the situation in Turkey regarding rent and urbanization, adds depth and context to your discussion, showing real-world relevance.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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