IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that living in a country is essential to learn that country’s language and culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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A number of people believe that
by
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apply
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residing in a country is mandatory to learn its
language
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 and culture.
This
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 essay will explain the reasons why
its
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it
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agree
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agrees
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 with the statement.
To begin
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 with,
first
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the first
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 cause is communication with the locals. when you move to
new
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a new
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place
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 with different traditions and
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language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
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, even though you learn it
before-hand
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beforehand
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but
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apply
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it still helps you to improve the
langauge
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language
 when you communicate with
the
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apply
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native speakers.
For
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example
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, when a student
move
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moves
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 to Canada though he
clear
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clears
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 a test for
language
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 proficiency in English
but
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apply
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still he will learn new words from the locals of
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place
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the place
a place
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 who use it as their first
language
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.
Secondly
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, there is
a
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an
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 idiom that goes when you are in
rome
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Rome
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 behave like one, so to understand the
cuture
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culture
 of any
place
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 it is better to experience it in person.
For
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example
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, in Asian countries, everyone reads about
christmas
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Christmas
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 but no one knows how to celebrate it properly and when they move to
europe
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Europe
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 they learn what to do for
christmas
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Christmas
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.
However
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, the modern technology is vast and you can learn or experience anything from your home.
For
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example
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, you live in India and
wants
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want
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 to learn
french
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French
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. You will have online access to institutions in
world
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the world
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who
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that
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taught
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teach
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french
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French
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. Other than that, for some communities, there can be
cutural
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cultural
 shocks when they experience it
in-person
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in person
show examples
.
For
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example
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, for
sikh
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Sikh
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 people, wearing jeans and small tops can be a big shock. To sum it up, there
is
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are
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 many advantages to
live
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living
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 in
country
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the country
a country
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 to learn
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language
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a language
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 and culture which outweigh the disadvantages. It is necessary to do research properly before moving to
new
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a new
the new
show examples
place
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.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction could be clearer. It is important to restate the question and outline your stance explicitly. Instead of saying 'This essay will explain the reasons why its agree with the statement,' you could say 'I fully agree with the statement that living in a country is essential for learning its language and culture.'
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on your sentence structure and grammar. There were several grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'by residing in a country is mandatory' (should be 'that residing in a country is mandatory') and 'there is a idiom' (should be 'there is an idiom'). These errors can affect the clarity of your writing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to include clear transitions between your ideas to enhance flow. Phrases like 'Firstly,' 'In addition,' and 'On the other hand' can help organize your paragraphs more effectively.
Task Achievement
While you provided examples, ensure they are fully developed and clearly linked to your main points. For instance, when discussing learning about Christmas in Europe, you might explain what specific aspects are learned and why that is significant.
Task Achievement
You have made an attempt to provide examples which support your points. This shows an understanding of how to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main ideas presented in the essay, which is good practice.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersion
  • acquisition
  • nuances
  • idiomatic expressions
  • context
  • global connectivity
  • cultural programs
  • media consumption
  • firsthand experience
  • frequent opportunities
  • substantial understanding
  • cultural shock
  • alternative methods
  • viable options
  • natural interaction
What to do next:
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