IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Library or Playground There are plans to improve your city. Two different ideas are being discussed. One is to build a bigger library with more computers and more books. The other is to build a new playground. The playground in your neighbourhood now is very small and old. The city planners want to ask the public for their opinion. explain why you prefer the city should build a bigger library.

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From my perspective, developing a bigger
library
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 would be the best option for the community since it will bring more benefits than a new playground.
Firstly
Linking Words
, having a new
library
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 would increase the available resources for students.
Currently
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Currently,
show examples
 technology is essential for the educational process;
thus
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,
this
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 alternative will allow several students with limited financial resources access to computers and Wi-Fi connections.
Moreover
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, by having a more variety of books
people
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 would be able to gather more information from their assignments and projects.
Secondly
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, the new
library
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 will boost
people
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's reading skills. Building an innovative learning environment would encourage
people
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 to visit it more frequently, and
as a result
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,
people
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 could increase their willingness to read.
Furthermore
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, the community with different reading preferences will find digital and print material of their interest by having a wider book collection
such
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 as novels, research, and scientific materials. Considering the abovementioned reasons, I firmly believe that building a bigger
library
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 would be the most suitable option for the local community in terms of increasing accessibility and reading skills.
Lastly
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, thanks for considering my opinion, and I will support any final decision that will be taken.

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task achievement
While the main points are generally clear, providing a few specific examples or statistics could enhance the arguments about the benefits of a bigger library and improve their relevance.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using clearer linking phrases or transitions between your ideas to improve the flow of your essay. This would enhance the coherence of your overall argument.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear preference for a bigger library and outlines specific benefits, which is a strong approach to task response.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with clear paragraphs that separate your ideas, which aids coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational resources
  • enriched learning environment
  • access to technology
  • bridge the digital divide
  • community engagement
  • cultural hub
  • workshops
  • lifelong learning
  • diverse population
  • reading habits
  • socioeconomic benefits
  • public amenities
  • literacy programs
  • intellectual growth
  • social cohesion
  • community development
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