When choosing a job, while some people think that the salary is the most important thing to be taken into consideration, others have a diverse view. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is an opinion that people should choose their
jobs
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based on salaries, and another believes that people should consider their happiness when they take the
jobs
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, which is very contrary to the first statement.
This
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essay will explain both opinions
,
Remove the comma
apply
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and in the end, I will present my view on
this
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issue. On the one hand,
salary
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is the main concern of someone who wants to get the right job for themself.
Firstly
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, we can survive in
this
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world from the money we get from the office. With the right amount of money, we hope we can live peacefully, even though the world situation is not safe.
For instance
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, many companies are trying to sack several employees to improve their efficiency. Ultimately, we should get enough money to save and invest our
salary
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if
this
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is the case.
Furthermore
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, concerning
salary
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means we value ourselves and see how the
company
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appreciates us. We can select the right companies to work for and the prospects in the future. Several cases happened because the
company
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paid the employees below the standard, and resulted in bankruptcy.
On the other hand
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, it is important to see our interest when we are on condition of searching for new
jobs
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.
Firstly
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, we should choose
jobs
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that match our focus. It will make the good relations between each worker. In
such
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cases a
company
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, several employees were left because they didn't feel that the
jobs
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didn't suit them. It resulted in the worst case, closed
company
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.
Secondly
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, it brings happiness when you are in the office. You are determined to finish all of your tasks, and the output satisfies the board directors. It will give you
salary
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increases or promotion to
higher
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a higher
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position
Finally
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, in my opinion, both of them should be considered when someone is seeking a job. even though they
are
Verb problem
have
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recently
graduating
Wrong verb form
graduated
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from universities or
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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have experience enough.

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coherence and cohesion
To enhance the clarity of your arguments, ensure that each paragraph explicitly states its main idea clearly and that all points logically connect to this idea.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or elaborating your arguments to strengthen your position and provide a more comprehensive answer to the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for grammatical accuracy and sentence structure, as some sentences are awkwardly phrased and may affect clarity.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and outlines both views, which sets the stage for a balanced discussion.
task achievement
You demonstrate an understanding of the importance of both salary and job satisfaction, indicating a thoughtful approach to the prompt.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • quality of life
  • basic needs
  • save for the future
  • afford luxuries
  • sign of success
  • self-esteem
  • social status
  • job satisfaction
  • long-term happiness
  • emotional well-being
  • fulfilling job
  • higher productivity
  • sense of accomplishment
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • remote work opportunities
  • good benefits
  • health insurance
  • retirement plans
  • professional development opportunities
  • subjective
  • individual needs
  • life circumstances
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