Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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The increasing number of sophisticated people who opt to
immigrate
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abroad has become a pressing issue in contemporary society.
Although
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some argue that they should stay and work in their home
country
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, others believe that it is their personal right to
immigrate
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to other countries. In
this
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essay, we will discuss both points of view and provide a logical conclusion.
To begin
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with, there is a broad consensus that governments should obligate professionals, like doctors and engineers, to stay in the
country
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for several reasons. One primary reason is that these highly educated people play a crucial role in educating and training the younger generations.
As a result
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,
lack
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a lack
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of qualified and experienced individuals can bring inevitable consequences
on
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to
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the educational system of the
country
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. Another reason is that industries and medical sectors are significantly reliant on these professionals.
For instance
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, after the economic downturn in 2020, the majority of Iranian doctors
prefered
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preferred
to
immigrate
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to other nations. After only 5 years, the
health care
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healthcare
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satisfaction rate in Iran experienced a huge decline.
On the other hand
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, it is believed that they should be free to
immigrate
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foreign
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to foreign
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countries for two main reasons. The major reason is that moving abroad and working in different atmospheres or communicating with leading scholars broaden their views and deepen their understanding
about
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of
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their own fields.
Second,
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foreign corporations and universities are offering advisable incentives and salaries to them, helping them to improve their own living standards.
Therefore
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, I believe that immigrating abroad can bring significant benefits for professionals in both
immediate
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the immediate
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and
long-term
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long term
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. In conclusion,
although
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immigration
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the immigration
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of well-educated individuals may cause dire consequences on the
country
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's educational and medical systems, in my opinion, it can help them to improve their knowledge and living conditions.

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task achievement
While you provide good arguments for both sides, you could enhance your argumentation by including more specific examples or statistics to support your points, especially in the paragraphs discussing the consequences of immigration.
coherence and cohesion
Consider improving transitions between ideas within paragraphs and between paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of your essay. This will help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced discussion of both views on the topic, which is essential for a task like this.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction effectively outlines the main points of the essay, and your conclusion succinctly summarizes your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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