Today, more and more full-time university students focus on other activities rather than spend a lot of time studying. Some people think it is essential for university students to be involved in other activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, most learners started to focus on their extra tasks rather than learning their main subjects at university. So, the community argue
that is
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necessary for learners to spend their time on new activities. In my point of view, both of them should be involved in student life. On one side, main subjects provide students with lots of necessary knowledge that will open doors of opportunities in the future.
For example
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, if a person spends their time only doing activities, it will lead
a
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to a
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lack of knowledge in the main areas.
Hence
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, students should not focus full-time on doing some activities but
also
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have to know what they are learning. On the other side, universities provide them with new operations
such
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as learning languages, sports, music and volunteering. These extra operations can
also
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help students to develop their social skills and mentality. By helping people who are in difficult circumstances, their view of life can be influenced to a positive side.
Also
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, sports and music can
also
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increase their creativity and leadership abilities.
Thus
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, events
also
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can influence and it will affect the future. In summary, being able to spend time on some operations can develop their social and emotional skills.
However
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, the main lessons have to be put in the first place.

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task achievement
Consider clarifying your main points and enhancing the depth of your arguments. It's important to present your ideas in a more detailed manner so that the reader can fully understand your position.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the overall structure of your paragraphs. Each paragraph should ideally focus on a single main idea and most effectively link back to your thesis.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your points.
coherence and cohesion
Use cohesive devices more effectively to connect your ideas smoother.
task achievement
You have identified both sides of the argument and provided a balanced view on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay structure is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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