Some people think that animal testing for medicine and cosmetics should be banned. Others think it is necessary to guarantee human safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There are
pro
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pros
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and
contra
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contras
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in
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to
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using
Add an article
the animal
an animal
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animal
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animals
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as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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media for
medicine
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and cosmetics
product
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test
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tests
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. In my opinion, the testing can be assumed as animal abuse if the purpose is unclear. For those who support
in
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apply
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using
animal
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animals
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for
product
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testing, it is allowed because the ultimate goal is to
safe
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save
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human
life
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, they believe that even though it sacrifices animals
but
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apply
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it has more noble purposes
,
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apply
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so that it can be accepted.
For example
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, when covid-19 pandemic
was happened
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happened
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in 2020,
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the numbers
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numbers
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number
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of people
died
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who died
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were always increased day by day at that
time
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. There was not any vaccine or
medicine
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that could cure the illness at that
time
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. Meanwhile, inventing a new vaccine or
medicine
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needed
Verb problem
took
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a long
time
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. If
by
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apply
show examples
using
animal
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animals
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for
product
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testing could shorten the vaccine invention
time
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,
then
Linking Words
it should be done to
safe
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save
show examples
human
life
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, people who
against
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are against
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using
animal
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animals
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as
a
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apply
show examples
media for
product
Use synonyms
testing
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
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that animal has to be protected
as well as
Linking Words
human
life
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. They treat the existence of
animal
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animals
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is
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as
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equal to
human
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humans
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. Both of them have
right
Correct article usage
the right
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to live and not to be tortured. It
because
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is because
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both
human
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humans
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and
animal
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animals
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are the organism which has
soul
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souls
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. They can feel many things
such
Linking Words
as pain, cold, hot, sadness, and happiness. So
that
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apply
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torturing
animal
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animals
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is perceived similar as
torturing
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to torturing
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people. In conclusion, even though
animal
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animals
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and
human
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humans
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are both the same as an organism,
but
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apply
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human
life
Use synonyms
has
position
Add an article
a position
the position
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to be prioritized.
In other words
Linking Words
, if an animal must be sacrificed to
safe
Replace the word
save
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a human
life
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,
so
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apply
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it is allowed.
For example
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, a chicken can be killed and eaten by
human
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humans
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to survive. So, I believe that using
animal
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animals
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to test a
medicine
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or cosmetics
product
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, as long as for saving human
life
Use synonyms
, is allowed.

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coherence and cohesion
Clarify the introduction by explicitly stating both views on animal testing more clearly. This will help the reader understand what is being discussed from the outset.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate more on the counterargument. It is somewhat underdeveloped, which may affect the depth of the discussion.
lexical resource
Try to avoid redundancy in expressions. For example, the phrase 'safe human life' was repeated multiple times which can be varied to enhance the richness of the language.
task achievement
The essay successfully presents both sides of the argument, making the discussion balanced.
task achievement
There are some good examples provided, particularly regarding the COVID-19 vaccine development, which adds credibility to the argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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