Doctors in many countries are saying that people are not getting enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this and how it can be addresses?

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In many countries, doctors are saying that

people

Use synonyms

usually

Use synonyms

workout

Correct your spelling

work

show examples

less than

what

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

they should. Since

people

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focus on working

performances

Fix the agreement mistake

performance

show examples

, they prioritise their career growth rather than taking care of their physical health.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

issue can be solved by government-sponsored campaigns that provide useful information for all citizens. Individuals, nowadays, work from 9 to 5 or even overtime, reducing their time for

exercise

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Due to

Linking Words

more responsibilities with age,

people

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are forced to earn more money in order to cover their higher expenses so they choose to work harder and

this

Linking Words

makes them exhausted.

Moreover

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, workers

also

Linking Words

prefer to

take

Verb problem

have

show examples

some relaxation by having a good dinner

instead

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of pushing themselves to do any physical

workout

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For example

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, in many Asian

countires

Correct your spelling

countries

, the most popular activities surveyed

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

hanging out with friends or eating

instead

Linking Words

of playing sports or exercising. One of the possible viable solutions is to raise awareness via public campaigns which should be promoted everywhere. If

people

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are educated on the effects of

having

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

inadequate

exercise

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and the positive impacts of being physically healthy, they will be aware and eventually interested in exercising.

For instance

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Thai

Correct article usage

the Thai

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government published a viral campaign on

skytrains

Change the capitalization

Skytrains

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to convince

people

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exercise

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more and

also

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suggested easy ways to complete

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workout

Fix the agreement mistake

workouts

show examples

at home.

As a result

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, the frequency of

exercise

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reported increased. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

people

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tend to have not enough physical

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workout

Fix the agreement mistake

workouts

show examples

because of hard

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

and having less free time, viral awareness-raising campaigns can be one of the practical solutions to address

this

Linking Words

issue.

pw.mmuiiTue Mar 04 2025

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Task Achievement

Your introduction provides a clear overview of the issue, but you could strengthen it by stating a clearer thesis statement outlining the causes and the solutions you plan to discuss. This would improve alignment with the essay prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion

To improve coherence, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly and guide the reader through your argument. For example, you could use 'In addition' or 'Furthermore' to introduce supporting points.

Task Achievement

While your examples are relevant, providing a few more specific details or statistics could enhance the strength of your points, making them more compelling and persuasive.

Task Achievement

Your essay effectively identifies the main causes of the lack of exercise and proposes a clear solution through public campaigns, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

The conclusion succinctly summarizes your main arguments and reinforces your proposed solution, which is a strong way to close your essay.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Doctors in many countries are saying that people are not getting enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this and how it can be addresses?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

some people think that arts subjects such as Drama and Music are an important part of a school education. Others, however, think that they are a waste of time and resources. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

An increasing number of professional such as doctor and teacher are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. what problem does this cause and what are the solutions?