IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.

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It is believed that different generations play different
role
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roles
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.
Millennial
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The millennial
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 generation of
90s
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the 90s
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 seemed more patient and tended to be in their
comfort
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zone
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whereas
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 the Gen Z are risk takers and passionate. But I believe it always depends on an individual characteristics and willingness. I will discuss both views in
following
Correct article usage
the following
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 paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, some
people
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 are scared to try out new things.
Such
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 as
,
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apply
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 they are already exhausted from their jobs and do not want to compromise on their lifestyle.
Additionally
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, they are very contented with what they have and wish to stay in
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comfort
Correct pronoun usage
their comfort
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zone
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 rather than opting for any new challenges as it might bring dissatisfaction to them. As they are afraid of failure, their success is very limited.
For instance
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, we always find
people
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 around us who will choose their current job despite
of
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apply
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having potential career
option
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options
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.
However
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, there are
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 who believe
the
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that
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 changes are
important
Correct article usage
an important
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 part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life and they are not afraid of taking on any challenges.
For example
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,
embracing
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by embracing
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 new business
idea
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ideas
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, travelling to different places, trying other country's cuisines or taking on any new hobby,
such
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people
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 tend to live an exciting and enjoyable life. Being the risk takers doesn't guarantee success to them, but trying continuously makes them
great
Correct word choice
greater
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 than
people
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 who are only present in their
comfort
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zone
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.
Therefore
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,
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this
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these
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people
Use synonyms
 tend to create history for the nation. In conclusion, being in
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comfort
Add an article
a comfort
the comfort
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zone
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 and doing familiar things by taking minimal risks may guarantee temporary happiness and stability but in
reality
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reality,
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 a life is more exciting by embracing
upon
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apply
show examples
new ideas and taking those risks which an individual is scared to take.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider restructuring your introduction for clarity and to more directly address the topic. Make sure to summarize both attitudes clearly at the start.
task achievement
In your body paragraphs, try to add more specific examples and details to back up your points. This will help support your arguments more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your writing, ensuring that your ideas connect more smoothly from one sentence to the next.
task achievement
You have presented both attitudes towards trying new things clearly, which is a key aspect of the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reflects on the overall discussion, showing a good sense of closure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Novelty
  • Routine
  • Comfort zone
  • Risk-taker
  • Risk-averse
  • Enrichment
  • Personal growth
  • Innovation
  • Creativity
  • Stability
  • Tradition
  • Habit
  • Familiarity
  • Personal enrichment
  • Life stages
  • Fulfilling
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