some people say that music is a good way of bringin people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Some believe that one of the optimal ways of bringing
people
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of distinct ages and cultural backgrounds is
music
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. I totally agree with
this
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statement as I believe that
music
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is an international concept and it appeals to everybody no matter what background a
person
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comes from.
To begin
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with, I would like to point out that
music
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is
widely-recognized
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widely recognised
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as something that human beings have in common. It is hard to envisage our world without
music
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as it has existed for millennia.
While
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nobody knows where
music
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first existed, everybody unanimously acknowledges that
music
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is not something that belongs to one culture or a nation.
For example
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,
music
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has been used and is being used by
people
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in international games, celebrations, and events, from many centuries ago until today's world. In order to listen to
a
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apply
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music
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a
person
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does not necessarily need to be extraordinarily intelligent as it is straightforward
in understanding
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to understand
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.
While
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listening to
music
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one is being emotionally
envolved
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involved
in an activity which relaxes and provides with a sense of satisfaction. No matter where a
person
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is from and what language is native to him or her,
music
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brings all
people
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together, as it has no language.
Additionally
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,
people
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of different age groups have various tastes.
This
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in return proves that
music
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does not have anything to do with culture.
For instance
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, someone listens to
music
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which was produced by a
person
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of different culture
,
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apply
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but still enjoys the
music
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. In conclusion, I firmly support the belief that
music
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is a great way to bring
people
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together,
while
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it has international appeal and applies to everyone regardless of the way they were nurtured or brought up.

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task achievement
Consider expanding your examples to demonstrate how specific music genres or cultural music bring people together, enhancing the relevance of your points.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the flow between sentences and ideas, perhaps by using more transitional phrases to connect your thoughts more effectively.
structure and clarity
Your introduction clearly states your position, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your main argument.
content
Your ideas are well-developed, and you provide a solid rationale for why music brings people together across cultures and ages.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional connection
  • universal language
  • cross-cultural communication
  • cultural exchange
  • generation gap
  • shared experience
  • music trends
  • common ground
  • concerts
  • music festivals
  • community music programs
  • educational tool
  • cultural awareness
  • social cohesion
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