IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below gives information about the journey to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in a year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about the journey to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in a year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of the mode of transportation that children aged between 11 to 16 in the UK chose to go to school in a year.
Overall
Linking Words
, walking is the most popular journey for the shortest distance (no more than 1
mile
Use synonyms
);
however
Linking Words
, its popularity dramatically decreased with longer distances. Walking and cycling were more popular with shorter distances
while
Linking Words
 buses became more popular with longer ones. The lowest percentage of journeys among all groups was a car. For 0-1
mile
Use synonyms
, walking stood at the highest percentage around 90%,
while
Linking Words
 the number of children
chose
Correct pronoun usage
who chose
show examples
 to walk for over 1
mile
Use synonyms
 declined significantly, making no child walking for over 5 miles
group
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the proportion of travelling by bus was nearly 0% for the shortest route, the figure surged to more than 60% for the longest distance
group
Use synonyms
. For the car
group
Use synonyms
, the number fluctuated, having
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
show examples
 percentage for the 0-1
mile
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 and
peaked
Wrong verb form
peaking
show examples
 at over 30% for the 2-5
mile
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 before dropping for the over 5 miles
group
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, bicycles showed a fluctuation with around 50% for the 0-1
mile
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
, raising to under 80% for the middle range distance and dropping to under 50% again for the 2-5
mile
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words mile, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Modes of transportation
  • Percentage
  • Comparative analysis
  • Seasonal variations
  • External factors
  • Environmental impact
  • Carbon emissions
  • Non-motorized modes
  • Safety
  • Convenience
  • Sustainable
  • Initiatives
  • Promoting
  • Improvements
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