IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Cutting down forests is a real environmental threat; yet, this is still happening at a great rate around the world. Why do you think forests are being destroyed? Are there any benefits from the destruction of forests?

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The deforestation
Correct article usage
Deforestation
show examples
 is considered
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 natural risk but there is no reduction
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 shown yet. I believe there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 benefits from the cutting down of
trees
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 essay will explain what are the causes of
destruction
Correct article usage
the destruction
show examples
 of forests.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the first reason is economic growth for
people
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 cut down the
trees
Use synonyms
 to sell because wood is used for various
puposes
Correct your spelling
purposes
such
Linking Words
 as to build houses,
furnitures
Change the wording
furniture
types of furniture
pieces of furniture
items of furniture
show examples
 and weapons.
Businessman
Fix the agreement mistake
Businessmen
show examples
 sell
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rare wood at higher prices to make
profit
Add an article
a profit
show examples
while
Linking Words
 they do not plant new
tress
Correct your spelling
trees
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in India, sandalwood is used for prayers by priests and is very rare to find, so, it has been sold at
inexpensive
Add an article
an inexpensive
show examples
 price.
Second
Add an article
The second
show examples
 reason is
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 countries. In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, big
cities
Add the auxiliary verb
cities have
show examples
 been built and
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 wants to connect them for more future opportunities.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they need to build roads so
people
Use synonyms
 can have access and for
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 reason they need land which they are getting by knocking down the
forest
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Canada had many
Use synonyms
forest
Change to a plural noun
forests
show examples
 in
early
Correct article usage
the early
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 years but with
growing
Add an article
a growing
show examples
 population which created demand for houses and development for certain
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
 and government had to cut down the
forest
Use synonyms
 to fulfil these requirements.
However
Linking Words
, the consequences of
this
Linking Words
 are
worst
Correct word choice
worse
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 nature and other living species.
In other words
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural disasters like,
tsunami
Fix the agreement mistake
tsunamis
show examples
 or
flood
Fix the agreement mistake
floods
show examples
 is
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
 outcome of
destruction
Add an article
the destruction
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
show examples
. Other than that, birds, who
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
 on
trees
Use synonyms
 are losing their homes, which leads them to extinction because of their no survival skill in big cities. To explain, urban areas have electric wires which are
main
Add an article
the main
show examples
 cause of
birds
Change noun form
birds'
bird's
show examples
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to it, air pollution is getting
worst
Correct word choice
worse
show examples
 each day by reducing the number the forests. There are not enough
trees
Use synonyms
 left to convert
carbondioxide
Correct your spelling
carbon dioxide
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 oxygen which is causing harm to
ozone
Add an article
the ozone
show examples
 layer as well. In conclusion, the effects we are facing now by cutting down will get worse in future.
Government
Add an article
The government
show examples
 needs to take steps
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
prevention
Replace the word
prevent
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it and should encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to plant more
trees
Use synonyms
 in order to save
planet
Add an article
the planet
show examples
.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to use more precise vocabulary. For instance, 'the deforestation' should be 'deforestation', and consider using synonyms to avoid repetition of 'cut down'.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread for minor grammatical errors, such as 'tress' instead of 'trees' and 'businessman' instead of 'businessmen'. These small mistakes can affect clarity.
task achievement
Expand on the introduction to clearly state your position. You mention that there are no benefits, which is a strong statement; consider emphasizing this point more.
task achievement
Include concrete examples of natural disasters you mention to strengthen your argument. This addition could illustrate your points more vividly.
coherence and cohesion
When transitioning from one point to another, use clearer linking phrases to help guide the reader. For instance, instead of just 'second reason', you might say 'In addition to economic growth, another significant reason for deforestation is...'
content
The essay addresses both reasons for deforestation and potential consequences, showing a balanced view.
content
The concluding statement effectively summarizes the argument and encourages action, demonstrating a strong understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • deforestation
  • agricultural expansion
  • commercial logging
  • urban sprawl
  • climate change
  • economic activity
  • infrastructure projects
  • sustainable development
  • environmental degradation
  • renewable resources
  • biodiversity loss
  • ecosystems
  • habitat destruction
  • conservation efforts
  • carbon footprint
  • afforestation
  • renewable resources
What to do next:
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