IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

📝 Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

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The rise in childcare issues has become a widely discussed topic in modern society.
Therefore
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, it is believed that
parents
Use synonyms
 should be mandated to enrol in parental training classes, to equip them with the
ability
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 to provide proper parenting skills to the
children
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. I completely agree with
this
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 opinion, because, proper guidance from
parents
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 can enhance the
children
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's
ability
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 to cope with situations, alongside
increase
Replace the word
increased
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 communication in
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
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 to social
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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.
This
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 essay will explore these
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
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.
To begin
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 with,
children
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 spend more time at home
while
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 growing up,
therefore
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,
parents
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 are the most influential figures in their lives, which makes parental courses an important tool for preparing
parents
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 in ways to
ragale
Correct your spelling
regale
rage
 with them.
For example
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 have a friend who recently gave birth to her first child, and she had no idea
on
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apply
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how to take care of their of the child, which drained her emotionally,
due to
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 lack of sleep for both her and the baby,
therefore
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, I recommended an online session titled
children
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 and newborn care, taught by an American midwife. With the help of
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 training sessions, the baby now
cry
Change the verb form
cries
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 less often and
sleep
Correct subject-verb agreement
sleeps
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 better, which gives my friend
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
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 to focus on other tasks.
Moreover
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, parental training can offer
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
insight
about
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into
show examples
 the areas
children
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are lacking
Wrong verb form
lack
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 skills,
such
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 as the
ability
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 to behave in a socially appropriate
manners
Correct the article-noun agreement
manner
show examples
.
For instance
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, most African
parents
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 generally believe it is the responsibility of schools to teach their
children
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about
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apply
show examples
how to behave well in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society, which results in
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of proper interactions between
children
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 and
parents
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.
Therefore
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,
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 courses can strengthen the communication bond between
parents
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 and
children
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. In conclusion, taking good care of
children
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 is crucial in modern society,
therefore
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, it is essential for
parents
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 to acquire
these knowledge
Change the determiner
this knowledge
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while
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 training their
children
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,
this
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is
Verb problem
will
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 not only increase the bond and communication between them
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but will
also
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 increase their
ability
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 to cope in different situation.
Nevertheless
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, implementing
this
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 training will groom a better generation.

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structural
Your introduction could be clearer. It is essential to state the main points you will discuss in your essay more explicitly.
lexical
Try to use more varied vocabulary to enhance your ideas; it might make them more impactful.
grammatical
Ensure proper grammar and spelling, especially for 'ragale' (which should be 'regale'), 'i' (which should be 'I'), and 'of the child' (should be 'the child').
structural
Make your conclusion more concise and re-emphasize the main argument rather than introducing new ideas.
task response
Your essay shows a clear understanding of the topic and presents a strong opinion, which is essential for a strong task response.
content
You provide personal examples which help illustrate your points effectively, making your argument relatable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Parenting skills
  • Child development
  • Mandatory courses
  • Nutrition
  • Discipline strategies
  • Effective communication
  • Government regulations
  • Voluntary workshops
  • Community support
  • Cultural backgrounds
  • Personal beliefs
  • Emotionally stable
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