Some people think that it is necessary to learn about others countries. Other feel same can be learnt through TV and Internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Many people think that to get knowledge about other
countries
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,
best
Add an article
the best
show examples
way
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is to
visit
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personally
while
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others point of view is that information gained from television and
internet
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is enough.
Further
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paragraph will elucidate my views on
this
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and will provide my opinion
at the end
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.
Firstly
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,to gain knowledge about native people and culture of different
countries
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the best
way
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is to
visit
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and spend more time on that place.
This
Linking Words
will increase curiosity and
brings
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bring
show examples
more excitement
how
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about how
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individual
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individuals
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live their life and even
though
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apply
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how
system
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the system
a system
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of that country actually works.
For instance
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,life
of
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in
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Africa is
way
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more different
as
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apply
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compared to the
picture
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pictures
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or data
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
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on
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internet
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the internet
show examples
.
Previous
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A previous
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year
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year's
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survey said that 80%
youth
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of youth
show examples
either college students or social workers manually
visit
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and
feels
Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
show examples
the pain and
challanges
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challenges
of
the
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apply
show examples
survival of those people.
This
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is the reason to get
in depth
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in-depth
show examples
information the best
way
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is to travel
in
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to
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other
countries
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.
However
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,nowadays social media is the biggest platform to provide an ease to the individuals to know about various
countries
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in their own comfort zone
instead
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of visiting.
This
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is
the
Correct article usage
a
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great platform even to
know
Verb problem
learn
show examples
about the history ,culture and so on in one go or just
in
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apply
show examples
one click.
For instance
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,
last
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year there was a survey done by
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
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student association that youth's level of
knowlege
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knowledge
about different
countries
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is
way
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more as compared to the
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
travellers.
That is
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why television and
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
is
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are
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proved
Correct your spelling
proven
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to
the
Add a missing verb
be the
show examples
best
way
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of learning
instead
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of visiting.
To conclude
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with
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apply
show examples
,both
view points
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viewpoints
show examples
are having
Wrong verb form
have
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their own pros and cons but
according to
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me
Add a comma
me,
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there is so much crucial and critical information sometimes not covered by
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Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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which is only covered when
Correct article usage
the traveller
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traveller
Fix the agreement mistake
travellers
show examples
visit
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personally.
Moreover
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visiting different
countries
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and getting personal experience may increase the level of
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
to another level.

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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction could be clearer. Try to rephrase the sentence for better clarity and connection to the topic.
task achievement
In your conclusion, summarize your main points more clearly and reinforce your opinion. It helps the reader understand your stance better.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your work for grammar and punctuation errors, as they can hinder clarity.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your arguments, which enhances the credibility of your views.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with distinct paragraphs that discuss different viewpoints.
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