Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think it is negative for children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, advertising targeting children has become increasingly prevalent worldwide.

While

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this

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strategy is undoubtedly lucrative for companies, I strongly believe that advertising has a significant number of drawbacks including the negative effect on health, influence on behaviour and cognitive development

therefore

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ads should be prohibited.

This

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essay will discuss the negative consequences of ads on children. One of the most significant downsides of advertising targeting young minds is the impact on their health.

This

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issue arises because many commercials promote unhealthy food

such

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as sugary snacks, soda drinks and fast food which contribute to severe health problems like obesity and diabetes. A recent study conducted in the United States has revealed that 1 in 5 children suffer from obesity primarily

due to

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unhealthy

diet

Fix the agreement mistake

diets

show examples

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task achievement

Consider adding more points to support your argument, such as the psychological impact of advertisements on children's preferences and spending habits.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to elaborate on your conclusion to summarize the main points you've discussed, and reinforce your stance on the issue.

coherence and cohesion

Enhance the flow between sentences by using more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas further.

task achievement

Your introduction is clear and sets a definitive stance on the topic, which is great for framing your argument.

task achievement

The use of specific data, like the study about obesity, strengthens your argument effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

128 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

target audience
consumer behavior
manipulative techniques
brand loyalty
materialistic values
childhood obesity
public perception
advertising strategies
psychological impact
regulatory measures
consumer protection
peer pressure
brand endorsement
cognitive vulnerability
parental influence

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Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think it is negative for children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In recent years, online education is becoming more and more popular. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon?

In many countries, young people decide to leave their parents home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing home with friends. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

Working from home is a popular way for professionals to work these days because it is convenient. What are the benefits and drawbacks of this trend? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.