IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

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In
this
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 modern world, we are entering an era where working for a company is getting overlooked as many
people
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 prefer to be self-employed. There are several factors that drive self-employment
gaining
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to gain
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 more popularity in our society.
However
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, as good as it might get, being self-employed may pose challenges for
young-emerging
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young emerging
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entrepreneurs
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. I believe the rapid rise of
this
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self-employed-trend
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self-employed trend
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 happened because
of
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apply
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many resources and tools have become easily accessible
enabled
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and enabled
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 by technology.
For instance
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, from a student standpoint, school materials can be obtained from online platforms
such
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 as Google and
Youtube
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YouTube
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.
Moreover
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, the advancement of technology like Artificial Intelligence
help
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helps
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people
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 improve their productivity. There are many technology-enabled tools that have the capability to help
entrepreneurs
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 with administrative tasks in a more efficient manner. Older generations did not have enough access to these resources as we are now. Despite the availability of many helpful tools, there are certain drawbacks of being
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
an entrepreneurs
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entrepreneurs
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entrepreneur
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 including the lack of stability and the
limitation
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limitations
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 in professional development. Working for companies
provide
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provides
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 better job security as employees receive consistent income every month, with the opportunity for salary
increase
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increases
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 and bonuses as well. Employees are often eligible for several benefits
such
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 as vehicles and health insurance
whereas
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entrepreneurs
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 need to pay for themselves. From
professional
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a professional
the professional
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 development point of view, working independently requires more effort and cost to obtain certain training,
while
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 working in a company allows employees to get access to training programs and learning opportunities. In conclusion, the advancement of technology has helped
people
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 to be self-employed despite several drawbacks it might bring.
People
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 need to give
a
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apply
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proper consideration before making
decision
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decisions
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 regarding their professional
career
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careers
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 and prepare for setbacks that may be caused by the instability
from
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of
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 becoming an entrepreneur.

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task achievement
While your introduction effectively outlines the topic, you might consider rephrasing the thesis statement to make the specific points you'll discuss clearer to the reader. This will enhance the clarity of your argument.
coherence cohesion
In the second paragraph, ensuring that each point has a clear link back to the overall argument of self-employment will strengthen your analysis. For example, consider explicitly stating how technology has changed the landscape of employment.
coherence cohesion
In your conclusion, reiterate the main points you've discussed to reinforce your argument. Also, consider linking back to your opening statement to create a stronger sense of closure.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents your ideas clearly. The discussion of technology as a facilitator of self-employment is particularly relevant and insightful.
coherence cohesion
You have utilized a variety of cohesive devices which help to connect your ideas and guide the reader through your argument effectively.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
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