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Writing Samples
Band 5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save mo ney for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Whether individuals, especially students should save their
money
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 for the rest of their lives or not has always been a controversial issue among experts and ordinary
people
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 in contemporary society. I believe that saving
money
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in
Change preposition
at
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 younger ages can bring several significant positive impacts on their personal and professional lives.
To begin
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 with, it is widely said that it is not imperative for younger generations like students and adolescents to focus on saving their
money
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 for the future. A major reason is that it is better for them to concentrate on their education and have enjoyable times with their peers. It means focusing more on financial issues may deprive adolescents of their personal right to have fun like their classmates or friends.
As a result
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, it is important for younger
people
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 to spend their
money
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 to hang out with their friends or take on new activities which are better for  both
present
Correct pronoun usage
their present
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 and future
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
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.
On the other hand
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, encouraging children to start saving a portion of their income can pose several dramatic benefits for them. One of the primary advantages
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
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 attitude is that the children who prefer to save their budget for their future plans from an early age can settle down sooner than their peers.
This
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money
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 can significantly help them to establish their own businesses or create a family when they graduate from school. Another major benefit is that  engaging in monetary matters can help them
to
Verb problem
apply
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gain foundational financial skills like management of their income and expenditure.
Last
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 but not least, recent studies show that
this
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 attitude in
favor
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favour
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 of saving
money
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 can foster a sense of entrepreneurship among young
people
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 which can pave the way for them to be independent and high-achievement persons in their coming
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
life
.
Therefore
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, I believe that it is essential for
people
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 to start engaging in saving and managing their pockets. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some believe that younger
people
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 should only focus on their education and having
enjoyable
Add an article
an enjoyable
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 time with their friends, I believe it can help them to settle down soon, enhance radical skills and improve their sense of entrepreneurship.

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task achievement
Expand on the benefits of saving money with specific examples or personal experiences to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that transitions between paragraphs and ideas are smoother to improve the overall flow of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the richness of your writing.
task achievement
You present a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument, which shows critical thinking.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and reinforces your main arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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