IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet has become profoundly efficiient and popular that people choose it as a platform to learn. Some believe that it would eventually replce the need for books. Do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern world, the usage of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is
constantlyon
Correct your spelling
constantly on
 the rise. The
multible
Correct your spelling
multiple
 people prefer to use the
internet
Use synonyms
 because it
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 all information easily and fast
access
Use synonyms
. It
agreed
Add a missing verb
is agreed
show examples
, that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trditional
Correct your spelling
traditional
 teaching methods
replace
Wrong verb form
replaced
show examples
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 technological means,
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 significant. In
Linking Words
additionally
Replace the word
addition
show examples
, the student
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 incredible
benefis
Correct your spelling
benefits
 when they take their lessons on the
internet
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as less expensive, fast
access
Use synonyms
, and
time
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the high cost of teaching is the most difficult problem
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
facing students
throghout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 their studies.
For instance
Linking Words
, they need a lot of money to pay for the books and education fees, but they need
paying
Change the verb form
to pay
show examples
 a little bit of money.
This
Linking Words
 way
allowes
Correct your spelling
allows
to student to
leanr
Correct your spelling
learn
 from their home and saves them more
time
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,
as well as
Linking Words
 they have more
time
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 for work.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the
internet
Use synonyms
 provides
lnformation
Correct your spelling
information
 easily, it
also
Linking Words
 gives them quick
access
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 several fields. In
the
Correct word choice
recent
show examples
last
Linking Words
 years, people who want to study had to search effectively in many
bookstor
Correct your spelling
books
 or
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
 in order to find their records. Now, students do not
nees
Correct your spelling
need
searching
Change the verb form
to search
show examples
 for books, and they can see your lessons
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their phones or laptops.
Thus
Linking Words
, other reasons encourage readers toward e-books. In conclusion, low cost and speed
access
Use synonyms
 both play an
effictive
Correct your spelling
effective
 role to
attracte
Correct your spelling
attract
 people from previous education
means
Change the verb form
mean
show examples
 toward modern methods.
therefore
Linking Words
, it
explained
Wrong verb form
explains
show examples
 that the
inernet
Correct your spelling
Internet
 is the cheapest means in the world and contains all the information and books in various fields. I hope that the study
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 online because it
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 education and more
time
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Improve the introduction by clearly stating your position on whether you agree or disagree with the statement; currently, it is somewhat unclear.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the overall structure of your paragraphs. Each paragraph should ideally focus on one main idea, supported by clear examples and elaboration.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to check spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'multible' (multiple), 'provide' (provides), 'neces' (need), 'attracte' (attract), etc., as these can impact clarity.
task achievement
You presented a relevant argument and provided examples to support your points about the benefits of using the internet for learning, which showcases engagement with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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