IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that students should take a gap year after finishing school and work or travel during this period. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years , there has been a tremendous increase in the number of individuals that are suggesting that
studetns
Correct your spelling
students
 should take a gap year to pursue other
activitis
Correct your spelling
activities
.
while
Linking Words
 some may strongly disagree saying that it is a waste of
time
Use synonyms
.From my
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
show examples
 it is a necessary step.
To begin
Linking Words
 , there is an
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
 to be made that
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
allowing
students
Use synonyms
 to work or travel during their gap year,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
provides them a chance to be mentally prepared for the work ahead.
For example
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 , if a medical student is allowed an internship at a hospital it will let him visualize the path he is pursuing and
therefore
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 be more dedicated to his
education
Use synonyms
.
For
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this
Linking Words
 reason , it is evident that working after finishing school is not a waste of
time
Use synonyms
 but more so a means to learn outside basic textbooks and computer
screen
Fix the agreement mistake
screens
show examples
 allowing
students
Use synonyms
 to broaden their
know
Verb problem
apply
show examples
opinions. what is more, if a new graduate is allowed to travel , it will provide him with a way to relieve his exhaustion and return to his
education
Use synonyms
witha
Correct your spelling
with a
 fresh and energized mind.
This
Linking Words
 being the case, if we hinder
students
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to take
Change preposition
from taking
show examples
 a break , they will be burdened
under
Change preposition
with
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 immense work and not have a clear picture of what they want to pursue.
In addition
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 to
this
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 , it must be stated that the general population
belives
Correct your spelling
believes
show examples
 that a gap year is a waste of
time
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
students
Correct word choice
that students
show examples
 should immediately move on to the next step of their
education
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 but
this
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 has clear downsides.
For example
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, a study done in
thailand
Change the capitalization
Thailand
show examples
 showed that 61% of
students
Use synonyms
 forced to attend university right after
highschol
Correct your spelling
highschool
high school
 dropped out after their 2nd semester. With
this
Linking Words
 evidence ,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the majority of
students
Use synonyms
 cannot cope with the immense burden of university right after finishing
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, a large group of graduates find their life goals without ever needing higher
education
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as working in customer service , at oil rigs or as a nanny. with
this
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 in mind , there is no doubt that
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 are numerous benefits of taking a break after ending school but very few cons.
To conclude
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, the overwhelming evidence seems to suggest that fresh diploma holders should be allowed the
time
Use synonyms
 to broaden their
horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
show examples
 and not be tied to the rat race of moving on to the next step without weighing their options as many find the meaning and passion of their lives during
this
Linking Words
 small but meaningful break.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure clear and consistent paragraph structure by separating ideas effectively with topic sentences and supporting details.
Task Achievement
Provide more relevant specific examples to strengthen your arguments and clarify your ideas further.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure the introduction outlines the scope of your essay more explicitly and guides the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
You presented a clear opinion and supported it with relevant ideas, which is essential for task achievement.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively addresses the topic and contains thoughtful arguments regarding the benefits of a gap year.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • employability
  • personal growth
  • life experience
  • academic momentum
  • financial strain
  • disconnected
  • directionless
  • strategic planning
  • structured plan
  • cultural considerations
  • socioeconomic contexts
  • motivated approach
What to do next:
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