IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe taht it is best way to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

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It’s argued that some individuals believe that the best
way
Use synonyms
 to face
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
situation
Use synonyms
 is to accept it
such
Linking Words
 as working in an unsatisfied
job
Use synonyms
 or shortage of money.
While
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 argue that it can be changed by effort.
Although
Linking Words
,
accept
Wrong verb form
accepting
show examples
 the present
situation
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 is the immediate solution and with less stress
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
, however
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, people with
courage
Add an article
the courage
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 to
change
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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representing
Wrong verb form
represent
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 their belief
of
Change preposition
in
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 never
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 up. For people who are satisfied
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
 present
situation
Use synonyms
 which would not increase their stress level. Individuals do not need to be looking for a new
job
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 to replace an unsatisfied workplace, indeed, they do not need to worry about the
job
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 interview.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the research interviewers stated that they prefer to stay unchanged even
they
Rephrase
when they
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 are
under
Change preposition
in
show examples
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 environment rather than looking for
change
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 but with uncertainty. Because uncertainty made them feel unsafety and
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
. Despite
this
Linking Words
, I believe that
perusing
Verb problem
pursuing
show examples
 changes to make
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 life is worth to invest.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they believe that
change
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 will
be happen
Change the verb form
happen
show examples
 when they try to improve. Humankind believes that
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 can be solved and there
have
Verb problem
are
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 a different alternative to fix
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
show examples
 of income could be solved by doing one more
job
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 during their leisure time. I believe
accept
Wrong verb form
accepting
show examples
 the worse
situation
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 is not
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 only and the best
way
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. In conclusion, accepting the bad
situation
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 could be the
fast
Correct word choice
fastest
show examples
 and
less stress
Replace the word
least stressful
show examples
way
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,
whereas
Linking Words
, looking for alternatives is the best
way
Use synonyms
 to help people
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
change
Use synonyms
 their unpleasant
situation
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Clarify your position in the introduction more distinctly and ensure that both sides of the argument are clearly addressed throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your ideas and enhance coherence between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Revise sentences for proper grammar and clarity, as well as correct any spelling mistakes (e.g., 'taht' should be 'that', 'unsatisfied' should be 'unsatisfactory').
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The examples provided give some insight into the real-life implications of accepting bad situations versus striving for change.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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