some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes ( for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children) to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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in recent years, the topic of high
school
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students
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have
Wrong verb form
having
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to take part in voluntary
work
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,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has emerged as a significant concern for
general
Add an article
the general
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public.
while
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some individuals contend that participating in voluntary activities seems to play
indispensable
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an indispensable
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role for
students
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,
i
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I
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maintain that learners should
be chosen
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choose
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what they want to do.
this
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essay will elucidate these differing perspectives on the one
hand
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, it is essential to recognize that individuals should acknowledge the significant advantages associated with all
students
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should
Correct pronoun usage
who should
show examples
be forced to join in community activities. A crucial consideration is that it seems to play a vital role allowing them to promote personal and professional developments.
this
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is simply because high
school
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students
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can learn new skills and expand their social network.
for example
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, it is noteworthy that
i
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I
show examples
met a professional teacher and he gave me a
hand
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to have access to a great deal of practical experiences.
in addition
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, another important point to emphasize is that it is apparently regarded as a massive opportunity for most
of
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apply
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students
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to improve
physical
Correct pronoun usage
their physical
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and mental well-being.
this
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is
due to
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the fact that it provides them
a
Add the preposition
with a
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vast opportunity to
active
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be active
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more and
exposure
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exposed
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to sunlight
on the other
Linking Words
hand
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, it is vital to examine the opposing viewpoint that social activities may not force
to
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apply
show examples
high
school
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students
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. a noteworthy factor to consider is that engaging in works which they do not like seems to bring them a waste of time experience, which emphasizes that they will possibly
work
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in a passive way.
this
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may lead to the fact that arousing curious emotions in their mind will be more difficult.
for instance
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, one might refer to my friend who is miss Thu, for her , if she does not have passion and excitement in majors, it is not apparently considered as a massive priority for her to
work
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at full capacity , which illustrates the potential drawbacks associated with
this
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perspective .
furthermore
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, it is essential to underscore that taking part in unpaid
work
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is not able to provide them with a vast item to meet the needs of going to
school
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or taking care of themselves and their family .
this
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may trigger the fact that high
school
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students
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would be
more
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under more
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pressure in conclusion, a comprehensive analysis of the differing perspectives on high
school
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students
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students'
student's
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have to engage in unpaid community services underscores the complexities involved in comparing the enjoyment of live performances to that of televised events . on one
hand
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, it may give
students
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a
hand
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to raise practical experiences .
conversely
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, it
also
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is able to bring boredom for some
students
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who
is
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are
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not
interesting
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interested
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with
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in
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social
campaign
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campaigns
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. ultimately,
it is clear that
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learning towards benefits more than drawbacks.
this
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examination encourages individuals to thoughtfully consider their preferences and the experiences that influence their enjoyment of these events

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task response
Your introduction clearly sets out the different perspectives on the topic, but try to make your thesis statement more direct. Consider rephrasing it to more clearly state your own position on the issue. Additionally, you should include a clear outline of what points you will discuss in the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
In your body paragraphs, ensure that your main ideas are presented more clearly. Some of your arguments are slightly hard to follow. Using topic sentences that directly state the point of the paragraph can really help with this.
task response
You present examples to support your points, but they are sometimes vague or not explicit enough. Make sure that your examples are specific and clearly illustrate the point you're trying to make. This will strengthen your arguments.
task response
Your essay displays a good understanding of both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic. This is a strong point in your favor!
task response
You have made a clear effort to include relevant examples and ideas, which shows engagement with the topic and your personal connection to it.
coherence cohesion
You have included a conclusion which summarizes the main points discussed, reinforcing your overall viewpoint. This is crucial for a strong essay structure.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
What to do next:
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