IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many things used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines .do this bring more advantages or disadvantages ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Each person has a different opinion. Some people admire handmade products,
however
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 the new technology, the preference has changed. I strongly agree with having both,
this
Linking Words
 is because of the demand in our world. One major advantage of using machines
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is the duration. Time plays a huge role in finalizing the task. Unlike, hand use as it needs to be done from the beginning. Quality as well has a significant impact on the outcome which has a positive effect.
For example
Linking Words
, Italian restaurants can have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
two options
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 making Pasta. The process is simple, but the taste has a significant impact.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are many people has no choice.
As well as
Linking Words
 they are used to creating things with their hands. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 is the reason for the nature of the country and their culture.
For instance
Linking Words
, in South
Africa
Add a comma
Africa,
show examples
 there is a lack of resources which is one of the main issues that they are facing.
Also
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is a traditional way of welcoming their guests,
in addition
Linking Words
 to that they think that the taste is butter.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 I do not prefer eating from another person’s hand, sometimes it has a secret taste.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I believe in balancing which will support the idea of transformation by applying the available. In conclusion, everything depends on the availability. Personally, I like using advanced items
due to
Linking Words
 that time is short and I need things to be done as soon as possible.
Finally
Linking Words
, at
this
Linking Words
 stage especially after Corona, machines are always recommended.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity of your arguments by organizing them more clearly. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by relevant details.
task achievement
Make sure to avoid grammatical errors that can confuse the reader, such as 'there are many people has no choice.' Instead, use 'there are many people who have no choice.'
task achievement
Provide more specific examples that directly support the advantages and disadvantages you're discussing. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more compelling.
task achievement
You present a balanced view by acknowledging both advantages and disadvantages of using machines vs. handmade products.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your personal opinion effectively, tying back to the main discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • domestic help
  • smart home technologies
  • energy-efficient
  • resource depletion
  • over-dependence
  • external services
  • maintenance
  • replacements
  • leisure activities
  • tedious tasks
What to do next:
Look at other essays: