IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A good friend has just changed schools and is having difficulty fitting in and needs your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • make suggestions as to how they could make friends • suggest joining clubs, participating in school activities • give any extra general advice You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear...,

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Dear Ali, I hope you are doing well. I'm writing to you with regard to your problem of finding new
frends
Correct your spelling
friends
 in your new school, I
was
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 thinking lately about it and I have got
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 suggestions.
Firstly
Linking Words
, everyone
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 been through
this
Linking Words
 before at some point
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 his life, it's part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature to feel not
fitted
Change the form of the verb
fit
show examples
 in at the
beggining
Correct your spelling
beginning
,
however
Linking Words
 my advice to you, when you talk to somebody, try to put the focus on them not on you, meaning you must ask them about themselves and
hoppies
Correct your spelling
hippies
 and what do they like. Everyone got something they admire, let's say that you meet someone and he is into music, if you talk to him about music he will
surly
Correct your spelling
surely
show examples
 be
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
 in you and feel great about
this
Linking Words
 topic.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, find what you are
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
 in and find some local
clup
Correct your spelling
club
clubs
 to join,
also
Linking Words
 do some school activities, that will amazingly help you.
Lastly
Linking Words
, I believe that confidence is everything, so try to build a strong one, and believe in yourself. Best Regards, Hdb

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider breaking your letter into clearer paragraphs for each idea. Each paragraph should focus on a single suggestion to enhance clarity.
Task Achievement
Make sure to use correct spelling throughout the letter, especially words like 'friends,' 'beginning,' 'club,' and 'interested.' This will improve readability.
Task Achievement
You provided practical suggestions and an empathetic approach, which shows you care about your friend's feelings.
Task Achievement
The letter has a friendly tone, making it warm and approachable, which is great for a personal letter.
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