In many parts of the world, some famous people are considered as ‘role models’ and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is this a positive or negative development?

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There is a school of thought that famous

people

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are deemed

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apply

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role models and

this

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raise

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raises

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the occurrence of influence on the young. From my perspective,

this

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phenomenon has both strengths and limitations. One of

significant

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the significant

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benefit

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benefits

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of celebrities being role models is their ability to inspire young

people

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. In

this

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day and age, many young

people

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are well-known and respected

with

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for

show examples

their hard

word

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work

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and

preserverance

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perseverance

in their career path and they have been inspiring many

individuals

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For example

Linking Words

, Meichan is a

fluencer

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influencer

fluence

in Vietnam and she is famous for her excellent

achivement

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achievement

when

study

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studying

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abroad.

Also

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, various students are motivated and more

confidence

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confident

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to study

oversea

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overseas

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Furthermore

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renowed

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renowned

renewed

individuals

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often take part in charitable activities and based on their

reputaion

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reputation

, many

people

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are likely to play a part in these practices

as a result

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Thus

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people

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are

also

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encouraged to engage

into

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show examples

social activities.

However

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,excessive admiration for celebrities can have detrimental effects. Young

individuals

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have a tendency to imitate famous

people

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who

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whom

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they admire

such

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as appearance and

purchaisng

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purchase

expensive goods.

However

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, it might be unrealistic body images and

people

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can harm their both mental and physical health

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show examples

pursuit

Replace the word

pursuing

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a body

as same

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similar

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

their idols.

Furthermore

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, students

are not acknowledge

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are not acknowledged

are not acknowledging

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comprehensively and do not have

ability

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the ability

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descern

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discern

rights and wrongs so they can idolize untrustworthy parts

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show examples

society who are famous for

scadal

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scandal

scandals

As a result

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, they can have distorted thinking and

inappriciate

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inappropriate

behavior that may impact negatively

socitey

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society

as well as

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themselves. With all of these aforementioned theses and

explanation

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explanations

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, the conclusion is self-evident. I believe that

while

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some celebrities positively influence young

individuals

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by setting a good example through their actions and advocacies, others may inadvertently promote negative

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

and unrealistic ideas.

lethithut123Thu Mar 06 2025

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task achievement

Ensure you provide a more balanced development of your ideas by clearly expressing both the positive and negative aspects of role models with sufficient elaboration.

coherence

Consider improving the transition between ideas and paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of the essay. Using linking words will help the reader follow your argument more easily.

coherence

Some grammatical errors and misspellings have affected the clarity of your argument. Careful proofreading can help catch small inaccuracies in spelling and grammar.

task achievement

You effectively introduced the topic and included a clear opinion on the matter, which is important for task response.

task achievement

You provided relevant examples that illustrate your points, such as mentioning a specific influential figure.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

role models
celebrity culture
aspirational
negative influences
unrealistic body images
discernment
amplifying
guidance
perceptions
activism
charity work
overshadowing
endorsements
consumer behavior

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In many parts of the world, some famous people are considered as ‘role models’ and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is this a positive or negative development?

Write a complaint to a manager of furniture company regarding the purchase you made and the problems you had when delivery arrived. You should describe: - Things that you bought, The broken items in the furniture What do you want the manager to do.

Nowadays, there are a large number of coffee shops and fast-food vendors on high streets and in town centers. Why are there so many of these outlets? What effect is this having on the society?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Learning English at school is often viewed as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we take steps to ensure the survival of local languages, and if so, how?

You are planning for a vacation and want your friend to go with you. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, you should: tell him/her why you want to take a vacation describe your plan invite him/her to go with you.