Some people think the best way to stay fit is joining a gym/helath club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In
this
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modern world, there are disputed opinions regarding
fitness
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. Towards, where some are of the
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view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
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that the appropriate way to maintain
fitness
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is
allocate
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to allocate
allocating
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time in the gym or health club;
whereas
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others counter argues that daily actions
such
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as walking
on
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at
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work and climbing stairs
is
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are
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enough to stay fit.
Therefore
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, before commenting on my opinion, both
the
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apply
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sides are elaborated
further
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. On the one hand, going to the
fitness
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center
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centre
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will
be decrease
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decrease
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the risk of obesity and heart
diseases
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disease
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. To elaborate
further
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, in the
fitness
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room, most of the proponents are doing exercise which can make them physically active and maintain normal blood pressure.
For example
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, those who
doing
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do
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gym
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the gym
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are looks
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look
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more healthy and slim as
exercises
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exercise
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not only will be helpful for
alleviate
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alleviating
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the amount of body fat but
also
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fruitful for proper blood circulation in the heart.
On the other hand
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, those who stand by the latter
view
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have their own claims. To
initiate
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begin
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with, nowadays, few amount of people are doing factory work because of which they are using enough calories. By
this
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, I mean that
while
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working, they are not allowed to sit for a longer period.
Hence
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, they are using their all energy
while
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working which can be helpful tor
maintain
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maintaining
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fitness
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.
For instance
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, construction workers have to stand and walk for
whole
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the whole
a whole
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day, which is
sufficient
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a sufficient
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activity.
To conclude
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and offer my position, it is evident that both
the
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apply
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views have their own importance.
However
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, I firmly support the former
view
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rather than
latter
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the latter
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view
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because exercise in the gym will be beneficial for maintaining good
mucle
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muscle
strength and body.

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Task Response
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the two perspectives you will discuss and your position. This will guide the reader through your essay more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use varied sentence structures and work on grammatical accuracy to improve the overall flow of your writing. This will help in achieving better coherence.
Task Response
Make sure to provide more specific examples and explanations to back up your claims. This contributes to a stronger argument and clearer ideas.
Task Achievement
The essay presents both perspectives on fitness, which shows an understanding of the prompt.
Task Achievement
The conclusion summarizes your viewpoint nicely, demonstrating engagement with the topic.
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