Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Please try to

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There is no denying the fact that acoustic has many benefits in our
life
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lives
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.
While
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it is commonly held belief that it plays a crucial role in our society. There is
also
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an argument that others believe that it is just one of the entertainment forms.
This
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essay will analyse
this
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topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, opera has a powerful impact.
In other words
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,
songs
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have hidden melodies that affect people in multiple ways. It can control our feelings and our actions
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such
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apply
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those who listen to sad rap will directly affect their mentality, but playing happy and exciting
songs
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has a completely opposite impact.
In addition
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, there are some melodies that help on focus and allow us to have a peaceful time.
For example
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, the American Educational Association survey indicated that 80% of people who listen to tune
while
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they are working have a sense of creativity and
clear
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a clear
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mentality.
On the other hand
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music, it gives pleasure and is just an extra activity in our society.It is
also
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possible to say that not everyone is available to pay for concert tickets because it is costly.
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, some individuals can live without singing and feel it is a bit noisy and there are many more enjoyable things in life than
songs
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.
For instance
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, all the industries give us a great time, but
songs
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are not essential ,so it is just for fun. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that music has a huge impact on our minds. It has many varieties and options so you can simply express your feelings, which can lead to a united society and let us know more about other cultures.

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task achievement
Clarify your thesis statement in the introduction to make your position clearer.
task achievement
Ensure that all ideas presented are well-developed and supported with more detailed explanations or examples.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with minor grammatical errors; they can slightly hinder comprehension.
task achievement
You provide a balanced discussion by presenting both sides of the argument, which shows good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your use of examples from surveys is strong and helps to support your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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