IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

number of books borrowed from four village libraries

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The line graph provides information about how many
books
Use synonyms
took
Wrong verb form
were taken
show examples
 from
June
Use synonyms
 to September from four different village libraries.
Overall
Linking Words
, the category for Sutton
Wood
Use synonyms
 was the most fluctuated figure over the periods.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , figures for Church Mount and West Eaton showed the opposite trend. In detail,
books
Use synonyms
lended
Correct your spelling
lent
show examples
 from Ryeslip
library
Capitalize word
Library
show examples
increased
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 300 in
June
Use synonyms
 respectively,
additionally
Linking Words
 , Sutton
Use synonyms
wood library
Correct your spelling
Wood Library
show examples
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the second upward tendency: residents borrowed 250 volumes in
June
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
 they
lended
Correct your spelling
lent
show examples
 275
books
Use synonyms
 in July. Ryeslip citizens took approximately 250
books
Use synonyms
 in July.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Sutton
Wood
Use synonyms
library
Capitalize word
Library
show examples
 experienced overwhelming improvement
at the end
Linking Words
 of the decline with numbers at 300. In August, Suttond
Wood
Use synonyms
library’s
Capitalize word
Library’s
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books
Use synonyms
 saw a sudden downfall: there were taken 100
books
Use synonyms
 and the tendency skyrocketed with the numbers at 300 hundred again in September.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, around 250
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed which people
Correct pronoun usage
who live
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live
Wrong verb form
lived
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 in Ryeslip in August
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
reduced
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
 the trend with the numbers
at
Change preposition
apply
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175 in August.
Besides
Linking Words
, West Eaton and Church Mount stood out among other categories with similar patterns in number 50 in
June
Use synonyms
. Both libraries saw a
marginally
Change the adverb
marginal
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 rise at 100 in July and two of them grew steadily
approximately
Change preposition
to approximately
show examples
 150 the following month. After all,
at the end
Linking Words
 of the decline, book rentals went up gradually finishing at 150.

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly summarizes the main trends and points in the graph. A brief overview can help set the context for the reader.
coherence
Enhance the logical flow by using more cohesive devices (such as transitions) to link ideas and paragraphs smoothly.
coherence
Be cautious with specific details and numbers. For example, be clear when referring to the same library across different months to avoid confusion.
task achievement
Vary your vocabulary and refrain from repetitive phrases to engage readers more and demonstrate language proficiency.
task achievement
The essay provides a reasonable amount of detail about the trends in book lending across the libraries, showing variation and specific numbers, which is commendable.
coherence
There is a clear attempt to structure the response into distinct sections focusing on different libraries and their trends, which is good for coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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