IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Write a letter to your direct manager. In your letter: Ask for time off and explain why Provide the dates and times for which you will be unavailable to work Describes what you will do to prepare or make up for your absence

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Dear Sir, My name is Smith, and I have been working with your company in the marketing department for the
last
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 two years. I am writing
this
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 letter to request you to grant me a leave for six days in the month of
June
Use synonyms
. The reason for my leave is my
much awaited
Add a hyphen
much-awaited
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 family trip to Bali. I am in love with
one
Correct determiner usage
a
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 gorgeous lady, and I
concluded
Verb problem
decided
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 to propose
her
Change preposition
to her
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 at her favourite tourist destination. To clarify, I am expecting to leave on
June
Use synonyms
 1st , and have planned to return on
June
Use synonyms
 6th.
Hence
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, I will be absent for those mentioned dates. We are having a big project before
June
Use synonyms
.
Threfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, our department will not face any significant challenges in my absence, as I will wrap
my
Change preposition
up my
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 work before my leave.
Moreover
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, I have already discussed in regard to
this
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 with my
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
, and they have agreed to handle my work in case of
emergency
Correct article usage
an emergency
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.
AIso
Correct your spelling
Also
, I will be easy to reach on call, whenever they require my assistance.
Furthermore
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, I will look into all the matters, once I
will be
Wrong verb form
am
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 back. Before booking my
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
as well as
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 flight, I would like to wait for your approval. I hope to hear from you soon. Yours sincerely, Mihir.

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task achievement
Consider using a more formal tone, especially in your request. Phrases like 'I would like to respectfully request' could enhance the tone.
coherence and cohesion
Clarify that your absence is entirely planned and structure your letter to make it clearer. For instance, separate the reason for absence into its own paragraph.
task achievement
The letter clearly states the dates of the requested time off, which is important for clarity and provides structure.
coherence and cohesion
The empathy shown towards colleagues, by mentioning their willingness to help, is commendable and shows teamwork.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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