The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The

given

Verb problem

apply

show examples

pie graph illustrates the proportion of online shopping profits categories from travel , film or music , books

ang

Correct your spelling

and

clothes in New Zealand over a

10-years

Fix the agreement mistake

10-year

show examples

period from 2003 to 2013.

Overall

Linking Words

, the

fiure

Correct your spelling

figure

for income genre from travel ,

as well as

Linking Words

clothes tended to

decrese

Correct your spelling

decrease

In contrast

Linking Words

, books and film and

musics

Change the wording

music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

witnessed a slight increase during

given

Verb problem

apply

show examples

the period. From a

detail

Change the verb form

detailed

show examples

analysis of

chart

Add an article

the chart

show examples

, it can be observed that travel went down slowly from 36% in 2003 to 29% in 2013.

Similarly

Linking Words

,Clothes profit constituted 24% of the total lucrative in 2003 ,dropping sharply

Change preposition

show examples

16% in 2013, making it one of the most fluctuating types .

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the value of revenue genre from Books went up from 19 %in 2003 to 22% in 2013.

Finally

Linking Words

, the entertainment sector , which includes films and

musics

Change the wording

music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

, saw a quick climb from 21% in 2003 to 33% in 2013 . Compared to the value from 2003 , 2013 income was almost 1.5 times higher.

quynhtranhbhSat Mar 08 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

174 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Comparative analysis
E-commerce
Retail sectors
Growth rate
Decade
Decline
Trends
Online transactions
Consumer behavior
Market share
Significant increase/decrease
Digital era
Accessibility
User-friendly platform
Market dynamics
Predictive outlook

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
You recently organized a party for your company at a hotel. Write a letter to the hotel manager. In your letter. -describe the party and how it went -explain why you were pleased with the hotel service. -suggest some improvements that the hotel could make.
The reason I'm writing to you is to thank you for the reception I had at your hotel
7.5
band
Nowadays many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grand parents can take care of their children, while others think childcare centres provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your opinion?
With the tight work schedule, Parents believe that the best option to raise their children is to leave them at home with their granddad or grannie, whilst some think that to leave their children at daycare. Firstly, grannie and granddad are safer options and they are easier to contact as they relate with the parents. Secondly, leaving children at a daycare provides an experienced expert in raising children of many types.
6.5
band
Some people think that learning the language and culture of a country is essential when you live in a country for a long time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
A number of people believe that mastering the language and culture of a nation is significant when you live in a country for a lengthy period of time. This essay completely agrees with the given statement. Firstly, it paves the way for cultural integration; secondly, it gives social status to a person in terms of jobs and life.
6
band
The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and citites closing. Do you agree or disagree?
The internet has revolutionized the way people do their shopping since the day it was invented. Travelling to stores is no longer neccessary and waiting in long lines is also something from the past. However, because of the large amount of advantages the internet has, many people might not want to physically go to shops anymore. In this essay, I will investigate how severe the impact of the Internet truly is.
6.5
band
Today more and more tourist are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctica. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
Traveling around the world undoubtedly has its advantages and disadvantages, particularly when it comes to visiting challenging or remote destinations. This essay will explore both the pros and cons of such travel experiences.

The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

You recently organized a party for your company at a hotel. Write a letter to the hotel manager. In your letter. -describe the party and how it went -explain why you were pleased with the hotel service. -suggest some improvements that the hotel could make.

Nowadays many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grand parents can take care of their children, while others think childcare centres provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Some people think that learning the language and culture of a country is essential when you live in a country for a long time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and citites closing. Do you agree or disagree?

Today more and more tourist are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctica. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?